Video Game Characters Secret Confessions!

24 Nov 2008 | Posted by

We all have secrets. There are whole websites devoted to people just telling their secrets and Conan O’Brien has a segment where celebrities can reveal their darkest truths. In this post, Anthony has uncovered some of the most iconic video game character confessions you have never heard!

 

Solid Snake: “Sometimes, when I hide inside the cardboard box…I cry.”

Princess Peach: “When I get bored, I call Bowser and have him kidnap me. It’s always good for a few hours of fun. Don’t tell Mario.”

Mario: “I think-a the Princess is cheating on me!”

Navi (Fairy from Ocarina of Time): “I’m an attention whore. That’s why I always shout out ‘Hey!’ and ‘Listen!’”

Pacman: “I can’t get full…”

Lara Croft: “Yep. Their fake.” 

Sephiroth: “I only dress like this to make it hard on cosplayers.”

Cloud: “My spiky hair and large sword are totally compensating for something.”

Little Sisters (Bioshock): “I like being harvested…ALOT.”

Big Daddy (Bioshock): “I take anger management classes. They don’t really work.”

Tingle: “I hate myself.”
 
Master Chief: “It’s CHIEF! Not CHEF! Stop asking me to make you ravioli!”
 
Dante: “I’m gay. And FANTASTIC!”
 
Batman: “Someone make a game for me that doesn’t suck!”
 
Superman: “Superman 64 rules.”
 
Link: “I have permanent laryngytis, but if I could talk…I would tell Tingle to get a life and Navi to shut the hell up!”
 
Samus Aran: “The reason I wear this suit is because I am insecure with my body.”
 
Kratos: “I only have threesomes because I can’t feel love.”
 
Tails: “Hey, wait up!”
 
Sonic: “Lost him again…”
 
Mr. Resetti (Animal Crossing): “I was the hall monitor in high school and I loved it. But no one loved me.”
 
Dog from Duck Hunt: “I want you to do it, I want you to do it. Come on, HIT ME!”

So there you have it, folks. Disturbed? Delighted? What did you think? What’s your take on this, what do you think these and other characters would confess to? And are there any you would like to see in the future?

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16 Comments »

  • SNOWMAN7 said:

    Haha, nice post. I’m definitely a pac-man, I can’t get full…

    Gordan Freeman: “I sleep with my crowbar.”

    November 24, 2008 at 11:54 pm
  • Mitch said:

    I like Snake’s. We all know it’s just an act..

    Duke Nukem: Yeah, I work nights at the Olive Garden. I haven’t seen a paycheck in so long….Royalties just don’t cut it any more.

    November 25, 2008 at 12:03 am
  • Anthony (author) said:

    lol, those are funny. Duke Nukem didn’t even cross my mind. How sad is that?

    Ryu: “Why you always copying me, Ken??”

    November 25, 2008 at 10:08 am
  • Eddy said:

    Solid Snake’s gave me a good laugh out loud.

    November 25, 2008 at 12:02 pm
  • SkubaPatr0l said:

    ROFL. Great post Andy. I wanna see more of these original and funny posts. They’re great!

    (Forbidden Siren characters): I see dead people!

    November 25, 2008 at 3:44 pm
  • Anthony (author) said:

    ROFL. Great post Andy. I wanna see more of these original and funny posts. They’re great!

    (Forbidden Siren characters): I see dead people!

    Andy? Anthony!

    lol, thanks.

    November 25, 2008 at 3:53 pm
  • FreeSkiPhreak said:

    haha omg lulz.
    player : “i dont have a mic cause my parents are home.”

    Cortana: (about master cheif) “whipped”

    idono, u do it better but i deffinitly had a good laugh.

    November 25, 2008 at 4:11 pm
  • SkubaPatr0l said:

    ROFL. Great post Andy. I wanna see more of these original and funny posts. They’re great!

    (Forbidden Siren characters): I see dead people!

    Andy? Anthony!

    lol, thanks.

    Sorry :(

    November 25, 2008 at 4:26 pm
  • Anthony (author) said:

    no prob,lol!

    November 25, 2008 at 4:48 pm
  • MGunltd said:

    those are hilarious! especially link’s confession.

    Fox McCloud: The last time I did a barrel roll is when I was drunk and I accidentally -well purposely crashed next to Peppy.

    November 25, 2008 at 8:28 pm
  • Cossack69 said:

    Marcus: Goddamn Locust! You made me chip a nail!!!

    Hilarious stuff, Anthony!

    November 25, 2008 at 9:35 pm
  • SNOWMAN7 said:

    Chell(p0rtal): “Where the hell is everybody!? I haven’t seen an living being in years! I should have gone to black mesa… “

    November 25, 2008 at 10:29 pm
  • aruseusx said:

    Arbiter: Why is Tartarus so mean to me?

    Pikachu: I love recieving thunderstones from shiny pichus.

    Banjo: Kazooie stop touching me there.

    Nice one Anthony.

    November 26, 2008 at 6:07 am
  • aruseusx said:

    Another
    Mr Game & Watch: I’m Anorexic.

    November 26, 2008 at 6:11 am
  • Anthony (author) said:

    Game and Watch: I’m colorblind.

    November 26, 2008 at 10:40 am
  • 5aga-m4n said:

    Gordon Freeman: ……………………………………………………………………………………………..???

    (with voice): I’m only a theoretical physicist! Why are you asking ME???

    November 27, 2008 at 3:47 pm