Top Six: Gaming’s Worst Unlocks

We’ve all worked our butt off for something that turned out to so not be worth it in the end. Shoveling the driveway, being nice to your parents, school, these are all things that have no tangible benefit in the long run. Nothing is more notorious for this than video games though. Whether you’re scampering across rooftops or desperately trying to get 100% on a game you don’t really like, gaming unlocks can be the biggest time-sink. Our list of the six worst offenders are below (Oh, and potential spoilers):

#1: Auditore Cape, Assassin’s Creed IIauditorecape

While the first Assassin’s Creed will go down in infamy for the multitude of useless collectible flags scattered across the Holy Land, Assassin’s Creed II deserves this spot for a different reason. The 100 feathers that you can collect along your Renaissance adventure seem like they’re actually leading somewhere, especially when you reach the half-way mark and you get the second best weapon in the game, the Condottiero hammer.

After hours of searching for the damnable leavings of the eagles, you return to your villa and deposit them in the box for the last time to receive…a hug. Then, your mother presents you with the cape and thanks you for not forgetting her. Ding, achievement unlocked, and we have a sweet piece of cloth to show for it. What does the cape do, though? Does it prevent fall damage, or something useful along those lines? No, it does the exact opposite of every other cape you earned for doing nothing. It makes you instantly notorious in every city in the game except for your villa. Thanks, Mom, so glad that all those archer’s families will wonder where their father went because he interfered with my search.
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