Why I Feel Sorry for this Generation’s Kid Gamers

FF7I feel sorry for this generation’s kid gamers.

I’ll unpack that, but first I’m going to apologize up front for a couple of things.

For starters, I’m going to sound like a crotchety jaded gamer. I may only be 27 years old, but as a gamer that practically makes me ancient, someone that grew up with gaming’s hallowed yesteryear, raised on the classics and growing up right alongside my favorite hobby. Such a thing can be said about few other mediums.

Secondly, I’m not going to say anything wholly original. This has all been said before, and probably in much better, prettier, or funnier ways. I’ll probably come across as some kind of gaming elitist, or the equivalent to the guy that sits on his porch with a bum leg and says “back in my day,” but I’m OK with that.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll say it again. I feel sorry for the crop of youngsters (how’s that for a crotchety word) that’s growing up in this generation of games. Continue reading Why I Feel Sorry for this Generation’s Kid Gamers

Bro Game Reviews

Alright nerds, it’s time to get real around here. When I’m not busy slamming beers and stealing your girlfriends, I sometimes play video games. As a guy who really knows his stuff, I thought I’d do all you dweebs a favor and tell you which of these upcoming games are worth your time and money. I’ve been convinced by the other dudes around here to use the grading scale to rate these games, so let’s pop those collars and get down to business. This is gonna be boss. Continue reading Bro Game Reviews

Top Six: Mitch’s Favorite Video Game Theme Songs

Music is an inextricable part of gaming, as much as it is for every other visual medium. Music can pull us into the moment, bring up the appropriate feelings and make something unforgettable. Throughout our hobby’s long history, we’ve had a great many composers gift us with some incredible songs, all the way from the NES era (and before) to today. Anthony did something similar a while back with his weekly music posts, but I thought I’d collect my favorite songs in one handy dandy top six list. Why six, you ask? Because six sells.
Continue reading Top Six: Mitch’s Favorite Video Game Theme Songs

Gamestradamus Predicts: E3 2011

Every now and then, we like to pay a little visit to our good friend, Gamestradamus, the Gaming Fortune Teller. Last year, we asked him his predictions about the Nintendo 3DS, which turned out to be largely true, minus a few small quibbles. Gamestradamus is different than the rest of us lowly gamers in that he is gifted with the ability to see into the great beyond, the ever-future, the swirling blender of time – and he can tell us bits of what he knows.

As the E3 fervor is getting ready to build into complete mania over the next few weeks, we thought we’d pay Gamestradamus a visit to glean his secrets before the rumors broke. What we found was shocking, titillating (tee hee) and worth reporting about here at GamerSushi. Beware, gents. Spoilers. Continue reading Gamestradamus Predicts: E3 2011

The Great Funk of 2011

MorriganMeh.

The piercing sound of gunfire in Black Ops doesn’t move me. The clang of steel in Dragon Age: Origins can’t wake me. Even Glados and her homicidal puzzles fail to shake me from my electronic ennui.

I’m in a gaming funk.

It happens, from time to time, usually in the summer months, when the Florida sun shines down from what seems like an inch from my head, pelting me with a heat that is as oppressive as a batarian slaver. It happened a lot in college, when I didn’t always have the money to get the games I wanted, but the miasma sets in sometimes even now.

I know the cure. I just have to find it: the right game at the right time. That perfect synergy of carefully identifying my mood and calculating what the proper game is to propell me forward and upward, to eliminate the listless that has so gripped me. Continue reading The Great Funk of 2011

How I Ruined RPGs with the Internet

Gamers come in all sorts of different flavors, and I’m not just talking about casual and hardcore. There are some who don’t play single player, some who only play single player, and then there are the kinds that give game designers of any type nightmares. I think I’m probably in the last category, specifically when it comes to Western RPGs. Given that games in those genres these days have branching stories, multiple conversation outcomes and more hidden bonuses than you can shake a stick it, it tends to drive OCD completionists with a lot of time on their hands (e.g. me) crazy.

That’s when I turn to the most forbidden of texts, the horrible tome know as the “FAQ”. Deep within the dark recesses of the Internet, I find my brethren, people who restart dungeons because they missed one chest after defeating whatever horrible creature inhabits that cave. These are the people who don’t play RPGs for the story or the characters or the experience, but rather to accrue every possible trinket and stat bonus the game has to offer. We can leave no stone unturned, no party companion un-romanced, and we do so by exploiting the game to its maximum. Not through exploration or discovery though, but by distilling it down to the most bare bones, no frills, maximum return type of experience. This is how I’ve come to destroy any Western RPG I’ve played.
Continue reading How I Ruined RPGs with the Internet

Why War Gaming Needs a Break

war gaming needs a breakAt this point in my gaming career, I think I’ve taken back the city of Stalingrad more times than I can count. I’ve fought bad guys in Europe, in space, and saved the world as we know it, all from the view of a lowly grunt in the military. Playing a video game from the perspective of the military is old hat, yet it’s a well that the industry keeps going back to. It’s easy to find an enemy and give your players a reason to go around the globe using all the latest weaponry (or period specific weaponry, depending on the setting), but the thrill is starting to wear out.

I’m ready for developers to move on from the fascination with the armed forces, but the gaming public needs to be on the same page. As long as Call of Duty is the top seller every year, we’re going to keep seeing the arms race between the big publishers as they try to put out their “CoD killer” by emulating it in every way possible. While I don’t think that Call of Duty is exactly killing the industry, it certainly isn’t helping it. Even Battlefield 3, a game that I’ve made my infatuation with clear several times, is hoping to outdo Call of Duty by making a game that’s scripted beyond belief. What can the games industry do to buck this trend?
Continue reading Why War Gaming Needs a Break

Would You Rather: Developer Edition

It’s time for another edition of your favorite game, Would You Rather. We know how much you like talking about yourselves and all, and that’s cool, because we like it, too.

Our last Would You Rather covered the beginning of 2011, looking forward to the year’s major releases. This edition is going to be the “developer dream job” version, tackling questions about the video game makers we know and love. Since many of you are aspiring video game developers, we thought it would be appropriate to see where your tendencies lie as potential future leaders in the industry.

For the Would You Rather newbies out there, the game is easy: we ask and you dish out your response. Give as much or as little explanation as you want for your choices, but we all know that we like to see the reasoning behind the madness.

Don’t let your answers suck, though. There’s a special blacklist going around on our site for sucky comments. Let’s just say those people get fed to the Sarlacc Nick keeps in his closet. And that thing is hungry. So yeah. Answer well. Go!

Continue reading Would You Rather: Developer Edition

Top Six: Video Game Characters We Wish Would Talk

Since the advent of the full voiced protagonist, I’ve come to expect that my in-game avatar always has something witty to say in any given situation. Despite the fact that characters like Grayson Hunt and Duke Nukem want to make me tear my hair out, there are a few protagonists in gaming that have successfully made the transition to having a personality, like Dead Space’s Isaac Clarke.

This got me thinking about a few other notoriously silent gaming icons, and which ones could stand to have a voice. Read on to see which six characters deserve a line of dialog here and there. Continue reading Top Six: Video Game Characters We Wish Would Talk

GameCop Vs LameCop Vs PsychoCop: Fanboy Edition!

Our favorite men in blue are back, eager to bring gaming justice to a spattering of industry-related topics from the last few weeks: Nintendo’s stance against indie developers, Sony’s subpoenas and Microsoft’s On Demand pricing.

I’m sure you know the rules by now, but just in case you don’t: GameCop is a sensible gamer, looking out for your best interests. LameCop is your average forum troll, causing havoc for the lulz, while PsychoCop should be locked up for everyone’s safety.

Keep reading to find out what they have to say on these issues:

Continue reading GameCop Vs LameCop Vs PsychoCop: Fanboy Edition!