GamerSushi Asks: Gaming Shame?

game shameToday, while talking with several co-workers, I mentioned that I enjoy playing video games. This turned out to be a mistake. I was basically the butt of every joke for the next several minutes, and even subjected to statements such as “ugh, you’re a gamer?” and “your poor wife!” In the year 2011, I’m actually surprised this still happens, but it does.

As a nerd, I’m generally used to people teasing me a bit about my hobbies (heck, I’m making fun of myself for it more often than not), but I was pretty confused by the lengths that the conversation went in terms of putting down gaming as a whole. It makes sense to me that there’s a certain stigma attached to the guy that plays nothing but Call of Duty (or any game, not just singling out that series) for 30 hours a week, but I figured gaming is widespread enough these days that it’s just accepted.

For the most part, I let these comments slide off my back, but it did stir me to start a few conversations about it over the course of the day. I was curious if you guys ever still run into this kind of thing in your lives? Do people ever give you a hard time about playing video games?

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I write about samurai girls and space marines. Writer for Smooth Few Films. Rooster Teeth Freelancer. Author of Red vs. Blue, The Ultimate Fan Guide, out NOW!

17 thoughts on “GamerSushi Asks: Gaming Shame?”

  1. Like you Eddy, I’m surprised that this is even possible. Then again, gaming culture is vibrant but there are still folks who haven’t encountered it and still see it as a guilty pleasure of asocial and unsuccessful recluses. Point is, it’s simply that these people are ignorant. Don’t take it so hard, Eddy, they just don’t love you like I love you. lol

    I too would react to folks teasing my gamerocity with just…bewilderment. I’d get a perplexed look on my face, thinking “Wait, did I trip into a time anomaly where games are still uncool?” Then I’d start trying to describe how, in my alternate universe, games became popular pastimes where people either played them just for casual fun on weekends while others were more interested in them as an medium and an art form. I’d explain how the hikikomori gamer stereotype is simply untrue since people of all walks of life play games, casually or adamantly, and that racism is bad, children.

    They’d then proceed to laugh at a higher volume, and my boss would walk in, abruptly loosing his barrage of malicious remarks about my gaming habits and mother’s honor. Ahem.

    Unless you’ve already decided how to deal with this situation, I’d actually bring up the issue again. Don’t force them into a corner or start a whole lunch debate about it. Just, if they make another joke about your love of games (I’m sure they’ll sneak one in on their own), explain in your own words how wrong they are and all that. The point is, don’t try to forget the issue but at the same time don’t turn it into a big drama.

    Wow. I sound like a parent. I hope I don’t sound like I’m patronizing your intelligence, Eddy. I just know that I’d get a bit frustrated if I ran into this situation. Hopefully you have a longer fuse than I.

  2. Yes, when I try to talk about PC games (or non COD, Halo, or Gears games in general) people are sometimes frustrating. I somewhat blame television and movies which paint us as people that live in their parent’s basements.

  3. A few comments here and there but nothing too vindictive. The worst of it comes from my Dad who is still convinced that all video games are a waste of time and have zero redeeming qualities. Mostly I just let him rant, its not worth the effort to try and convince him otherwise. Mum’s fairly understanding though. Although it may have been a bad thing to show her Bejewelled… Popcap strikes again 🙂

    And now for something completely different – Knowing you guys have mentioned a lack of space combat games on a couple of podcasts, you might be interested to know there’s a new one in the works. Nothing in game has been shown yet, but the story sounds like it has potential.

    http://www.kotaku.com.au/2011/07/wing-commander-inspired-space-combat-game-in-the-works/

  4. I’m at a sixth form college in my final year, and there are people who refer to me as ‘gamer boy’ because I used to play a lot of games when I was younger, Now I have calmed down a bit with gaming and play a fraction of what I used too, yet if I’m sat with someone else who plays games and we begin a discussion, people from across the room will actually make the effort to try and take the mick. It doesn’t bother me, but them making the effort too does.

  5. I don’t really get any flak for it at all. My dad makes more fun of me reading than playing games (I still can’t really work THAT one out) but then, he used to play Quake and Goldeneye with me when I was young.
    No-one in school ever chastised me for playing games because that was as normal as some of the other boys in my class playing football or whatever hobby. Also, you’re an anomaly in our school if you are male and don’t have a PS3 or a 360. That was until last year where my friend and I were discussing BFBC2 during a bit of free time in English Lit. A girl sitting close by started going on about how it was a waste of time it was and how her boyfriend doesn’t play them and blah blah blah. We simply stated our reasons for enjoyment and most of the girls at our table were on our side (either as gamers themselves or just understanding of our hobby). It was VERY satisfying having everyone on our side. : )

  6. Although the trend is slowly moving in the other direction, the general public still holds a negative opinion of games. I’ve had to defend my hobby on numerous occasions. This remind me of a recent thing the Today show said, about how it’s very weird for a guy over 30 to play video games: http://www.destructoid.com/nbc-if-you-re-an-adult-and-play-games-you-re-weird–205913.phtml. Skip to about 2:00 and prepare to get pissed. Due to being in your late twenties, Eddy, I think people are putting you in that “too old for video games you should be doing something else” group.

  7. I have to say I’m doing my part to change the future of such comments. When I introduce myself to my high school classes, I let them know that I enjoy playing video games. I’ve even played Demon’s Souls with one of my sophomores. At the end of the year, some of my sophomore girls came up to me and told me that when I said I like video games, they thought I was wierd, but then when they got used to me, they thought, “He’s actually pretty cool.”

  8. Some people are genuinely surprised when they learn that I play videogames, because they see gamers as shut-ins, living in their parent’s basement and doing nothing but playing videogames. Television has played a rather large role in this because of how gamers are constantly portrayed like that. I mostly tell them that it’s a hobbie of mine, like soccer, or bass guitar, because that’s just what it is, a hobbie. It’s a surprise when people still view gamers that way. When people find out that I’m a gamer, they kind of poke fun at it (which isn’t a big deal, just friendly teasing) some of the other people we’re talking with will usually tell them that they play games on a regular basis too, which is really amusing to see their reaction after that. The “gamer” stereotype is really starting to dissapear, but most people still view us very differently from everyone else.

  9. I got shit about being a gamer in Highschool for a while, but I got pretty fed up really fast. A guy walked up to me and in the nerdiest, most nasally voice he could muster, he said “Hey hey hey let’s talk about HALO huh? Those halos, am I right?” while adjusting imaginary glasses. I don’t even really care for Halo. I ended up punching him square in the face and he spent the rest of lunch laying on his back.

    All in all, where I live people don’t hate on gamers much because most of the tougher guys are gamers. We’re still nerdy and have a lot of the stereotypes attributed to us, but most of the gamers here are the guys who join the army or spend a lot of time at the gym or take judo lessons. I’m not really one of the tough ones, but I was still able to punch that poor idiot hard enough to put him out of commission.

    Being a gamer is a culture and as with any other culture, if somebody insults you for it, somebody is going to get their ass kicked. Thankfully that kind of thing doesn’t happen much anymore though.

  10. [quote comment=”17111″]This remind me of a recent thing the Today show said, about how it’s very weird for a guy over 30 to play video games: http://www.destructoid.com/nbc-if-you-re-an-adult-and-play-games-you-re-weird–205913.phtml. Skip to about 2:00 and prepare to get pissed. Due to being in your late twenties, Eddy, I think people are putting you in that “too old for video games you should be doing something else” group.[/quote]
    That video made me rage. The kind of rage that gives you an aneurysm.

    On topic, my parents don’t understand me being a PC gamer ): I love me somo fine rig to play.

  11. [quote comment=”17115″][quote comment=”17111″]This remind me of a recent thing the Today show said, about how it’s very weird for a guy over 30 to play video games: http://www.destructoid.com/nbc-if-you-re-an-adult-and-play-games-you-re-weird–205913.phtml. Skip to about 2:00 and prepare to get pissed. Due to being in your late twenties, Eddy, I think people are putting you in that “too old for video games you should be doing something else” group.[/quote]
    That video made me rage. The kind of rage that gives you an aneurysm.

    On topic, my parents don’t understand me being a PC gamer ): I love me somo fine rig to play.[/quote]

    The reason people have this opinion is because video games weren’t mainstream until we (I’m 31) were children. At that point, 20 and 30 year olds (mostly) didn’t pick up on any video games since they were “games”. Now, though, us children are moving into our thirties, the first generation who grew up playing video games. People older than us won’t understand that, and even people our age who didn’t grow up playing video games.

    Remember, video games are a new media compared to music and movies and other forms of art. 30 years from now, 60 year olds (me included) will be playing Final Fantasy XXX (or CoD 1200), and it’ll be normal for 30 year olds to be gamers.

    Just you wait.

  12. [quote comment=”17116″]…60 year olds (me included) will be playing Final Fantasy XXX…[/quote]
    Must…resist…

    Well, I truly hope that then.

  13. Ironically, I come from a small, monotone, yet rather odd social background. Gaming isn’t looked down upon by my peers, just as long as it’s in moderation and about the right games. I knew girls who played Gears of War and Red Dead Redemption. I knew guys who played Fallout 3 and Borderlands. I knew adults who played Angry Birds or Jewel Quest (I even got my mom hooked on the Fallout series). Shit, I even knew kids who played Myst and Star Fox back in the day.

    It’s a double-edged sword, though, in that I could talk about playing Dead Space, Halo, etc. around other people, but if I brought up something like Skyrim or Minecraft, or something like the future of video games or E3 news, I got awkward silence. The only time I really got flak though was when I tried to talk about anything Nintendo. I guess where I come from is lukewarm towards gaming in general. They’re simmering in mainstream/casual gaming, but too unfamiliar with the more passive or obscure games to really care about them.

  14. The crazy part about this is that people who laugh at us for “wasting our time” with video games don’t realize that they’re probably wasting way more time by watching television.

    According to Nielson’s 2008-09 statistics, the average American watches nearly 5 hours of television every day. Pot, meet kettle.

    And watching tv is worse for you than playing games because it’s so much more passive. At least games are engaging you in some fashion.

    dp is right about the generational thing, as well. Case in point: my wife thinks it’s weird that I will watch the same movie multiple times. This baffled me until I realized that it only seems weird to her because she’s a good deal older than me and didn’t grow up with VCRs that allowed you to watch the same movies over and over again. Now she sees our kids doing just that and it makes a little more sense to her.

    Funny little world…

  15. Hah, I’ve talked about this at length on other posts. My roomates are much older than me, and call Counter-Strike “Gun Friends” since I’m mostly just chatting and laughing my head off. And that’s with people I’ve known online longer than I’ve known my roomates and even some of my “real life friends”.

    I don’t get pigeon-holed as the “gamer” though because I’m mostly known among my friends and family as the musician. But when I break into a nerdy discussion with someone and people around me notice, they really are taken aback and say “wow, you ARE a geek!”. And let me tell you, I / love / that title!

  16. I think one thing that has always irritated me as a gamer in his mid teens (yeah, a little younger than some of you guys, but I still hold my old Sega Genesis and my N64 close to my heart :D) is that adults would always look down on gaming as this childish, pointless pasttime. But around the time the Wii came out (no disrespect to all the Wii fans) those same people started to think much higher of gaming. Which I felt was quite ironic, seeing as how the Wii almost reduced Nintendo’s gaming market to something that was, for the most part, childish and pointless.

    Just like Star Wars and Dr. Suess, I cant remember a time when I didnt love video games. I seriously cant remember the first time I played Sonic 2 or Mortal Kombat (blood code off, dont worry) on the Sega because I was so young. Gaming has been kind of ingrained into me, and I find it a little insulting when people think I’m strange because I engage in a popular pasttime. I dont look down on people that play football, or read manga, or get drunk, or whatever.

    And it would be a little more understandable if it was like, the only thing I did. But I have a job, I just got my 1st Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo in February, I read a lot, I’m 3rd chair trumpet in my high school, you know, I do other stuff. Gaming isnt my life or anything like that, yet it almost seems like people assume it is.

    That being said, it’s not often that I get someone who is put-off by my status as a gamer. But the fact that it still happens at all is a little sad.

  17. [quote comment=”17120″]It’s a double-edged sword, though, in that I could talk about playing Dead Space, Halo, etc. around other people, but if I brought up something like Skyrim or Minecraft, or something like the future of video games or E3 news, I got awkward silence. The only time I really got flak though was when I tried to talk about anything Nintendo. I guess where I come from is lukewarm towards gaming in general. They’re simmering in mainstream/casual gaming, but too unfamiliar with the more passive or obscure games to really care about them.[/quote]

    This “odd” little community is probably where the gaming culture will end up when it’s been more established. As with movies, I can talk to anyone about Iron Man or Harry Potter, but the group of people who want to discuss Oldboy’s cinematography or the beauty of The Fountain is a much smaller group (if anyone at all).

    The majority of people can enjoy something (video games included), but not so much will truly study these same things.

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