GameCop Vs LameCop Vs PsychoCop: Fanboy Edition!

Our favorite men in blue are back, eager to bring gaming justice to a spattering of industry-related topics from the last few weeks: Nintendo’s stance against indie developers, Sony’s subpoenas and Microsoft’s On Demand pricing.

I’m sure you know the rules by now, but just in case you don’t: GameCop is a sensible gamer, looking out for your best interests. LameCop is your average forum troll, causing havoc for the lulz, while PsychoCop should be locked up for everyone’s safety.

Keep reading to find out what they have to say on these issues:

Issue 1

Nintendo recently surprised a gamers with their firm statement about not working with what they called “garage developers”. Fair or foul by the Big N?

Reggie

GameCop: Mitch

Nintendo isn’t a “big, bad corporation” for not wanting to reach out to the so-called “garage devs”. Small one and two person outfits are exponentially more risky than independent studios.

Nintendo isn’t denying these studios a shot by closing their doors to them, even if it does look that way. Nintendo didn’t get to the top of the heap by throwing money this way and that. They got there by playing it safe, and that’s the way it’s going to stay. If you want Nintendo to take you on, prove youself as a developer first.

LameCop: Anthony

“Prove yourself as a developer”? Riddle me this, Canada, how is a self-respecting guy in his father’s garage supposed to prove himself when the Big N, which obviously stands for “NO” decides to take its ball and go home before the game even starts?

Indie devs are all the rage and what is more indie than a one or two person dev team? And why should they have to prove themselves to anyone, especially to a company whose most recent innovation (3DS) involves a battery that lasts about as long as a game of Cut The Rope? I say hire them all up, put them all in a room with unlimited coffee and cocaine and within in a week, you will have the ultimate game: Super Angry Rope of Warcraft-mon II: Reach.

PsychoCop: Eddy

Listen up, pigs. The only garage Reggie Fils-Aime needs to worry about is the one where he parks his Mario Karts. Everyone is all concerned about indie games this and indie games that. You want to know what indie I’m concerned about? Indiana Jones, that’s who.

Check this out: I got a tip from a guy that knows Dr. Jones, and he says he’s found the relic of Forgotten Memories buried deep within the black heart of Nintendo’s secret headquarters on the moon. No, their actual base is not in Japan or in Washington, or whatever lie you sheep believed. It’s on the freaking moon, and not even Earth’s moon. Hyrule’s. I have attached an artist’s rendition:

Majora's Mask

I am leaving at midnight the day before March 31st. The Forgotten Memories will be mine. Also, you get to meet Han Solo if you come with me. Who’s in?

Issue 2

Sony is going after the hacker GeoHotz hardcore, and has even gone as far as to grab the identities of all visitors to his site. Is Sony within its rights to subpoena everyone and their mom?

Sony PS3

GameCop: Eddy

I think it’s a bit of both. While Sony certainly has the right to go after anyone it feels violated their terms of service agreement (which you acknowledge before getting the system set up), I do think their overreach might paint them as the bad guy. A lot of people are upset that Sony has acquired the rights from a California court to look at all the IPs of people that visited GeoHotz’s site. While this seems like a huge breach of privacy, it must be acknowledged that GeoHotz’s camp are the ones that gave this information up. So basically, from my understanding, he sold out his site’s visitors to protect himself. Because that’s what people do when they get put into a sling like this.

In the end, I doubt Sony will be able to actually persecute the guy or fully get the damages they want resolved out of this. It’s coming across the way the music industry did when people started using Napster. I think future console producers are going to need to figure out a happy medium that allows users the flexibility to do as they wish with their own product that they purchased. In the immediate future, however, if you signed a TOS agreement, then you should stick to it.

LameCop: Mitch

Listen, “Eddy”, if that is your real name, GeoHotz is a man of the people, fighting back against the tyrannical oppressor that is Sony. By this point in the game, companies should realize that we are going to haxxor anything and everything, and there’s not much they can do about it.

There’s a reason that the Terms of Service are longer than the Bible, and that’s a purposeful trick to get people to sign up for them out of impatience. I once read Sony’s ToS and the last six pages were just the words “Screw Flanders” over and over again. This is a total bait and switch and I would willing give up my personal information to protect GeoHotz’s right to violate such fraudulent documents. Until companies stop making ToS such a labyrinthine legal dance to safe guard themselves against these events, then we’re just going to keep doing what we’re doing. So there.

PsychoCop: Anthony

Terms of service? Sounds more like a slave contract if you ask me. We all know that the Kevin Butler ad campaign is really just an attempt at mind control. I mean, come on, the Move and the 3-D TVs and Nathan Drake? All just attempts by to Sony to bait the hook and lure us into their web of deceit, where we we all chant RIIIIIIIIDDDDGEE RAAAAACER over and over again until only the gong sound from Uncharted sounding off at regular intervals renders us blissful and silent.

Geohotz, praise his name, is the John Conner of our time, fighting against Sony (AKA Skynet). He probably even lives with his mom still, just like…you guessed it: John Conner. I mean, think about it, the guy is great with computers, has a shitty haircut (because he’s always on the run) and an annoying voice. Geohotz, please save us from the Sony Overlord!

Issue 3

Microsoft is currently charging $49.99 for Halo: Reach for download On Demand. Say what?

Reach

GameCop: Anthony

Ok, just breathe, we can get through this. I know it’s asinine for Microsoft to charge the same for digital download as for a physical retail copy, but let’s be honest: people are going to buy this anyway. Not a ton of people, but more than you would expect. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about gamers, it’s that they are lazy and love to spend money.

Sure, a discount would be nice, but until the market proves that it’s necessary, we won’t be seeing one, certainly not out of the kindness of Microsoft’s (alleged) heart. But we can control what we purchase. So do us all a favor and don’t buy Reach digitally. Buy it from a store so that Microsoft will see the flaw in their thinking and adjust accordingly.

LameCop: Eddy

Oh HO! Anthony would say to just chillax, take a deep breath and move on from this, but I think the sensible gamers among us know what’s best: that Halo: Reach is the epitome of all teh Haloz and must be purchased even more so Microsoft knows more of what we demand.

Think about it: if every XBL member buys one of these – and I’m assuming there are at least like 50 million people on XBL – Microsoft is going to make something like 250 billion dollars straight cash. That’s enough for at least 3 more Halo games, and maybe they can get Bungie back on them. Come on guys, where’s your indie dev spirit? We need to support the companies that make niche titles like these space marine shooters and really put our money where our mouths are. I’ll bet Anthony would pirate this online if he could. Pirate!

PsychoCop: Mitch

Ah, my two friends, arguing about such a trivial matter. Whatever you think about Microsoft’s aim with releasing Reach via brick and mortar or digitally matters not, for it is a most sacred and holy video text, or “vext” as it is known to ath’ram, the chosen people.

Time has looped back upon itself unbeknown to all but those possessed of incredible mental ability, and Reach is the log of a human conflict in the far future-past. This is why Microsoft is charging the same to download the vext as the stores are; they know that all must be educated in the ways of our past-future. Rejoice and pay your ticket to salvation, my brothers!

————

So, the Cops have turned in their statements! Any thoughts on their thoughts? Report!

Written by

I write about samurai girls and space marines. Writer for Smooth Few Films. Rooster Teeth Freelancer. Author of Red vs. Blue, The Ultimate Fan Guide, out NOW!

18 thoughts on “GameCop Vs LameCop Vs PsychoCop: Fanboy Edition!”

  1. You think Halo for retail price is bad? Mass Effect 2 was OVER retail price on the PSN store. New retail releases here cost £40. ME2 via PSN was (and actually still is: I just checked there) £48. There is no difference in content. Nerd rage! Grrrrrrr!
    Awesome feature as usual guys, keep ’em coming!

  2. About issue #2.
    Sony are the douchebags, since the only reason Geohot hacked it was because they removed the option to boot linux on the slims and later on any ps3’s. It wasn’t even touched by the real hackers before they started to do stuff like this, but at the first sign of someone running unsigned code, Sony decided to mess with their customers and disabling features it had had since the release of the console. And then they got hacked. Not because people wanted to pirate games. But because they wanted to use the hardware they had paid for. It is this point at which people made mods to run pirated games. All this, because of Sony’s paranoia of piracy. And now they want to see who used these tools ?
    I think they could’ve avoided all this mess if they just made the console stay “hacker-friendly”, so it wouldn’t get hacked, so people wouldn’t get sued.

  3. About the Sony issue: I don’t care what people do to their systems. I agree the ToS docs are freakin’ ridiculous, but these hackers have crossed the line by messing with other people’s accounts. Any activity that interferes locally isn’t so bad, but when it focuses on other people, that’s where Sony needs to step up. I see no problem with the IP acquisitions.

  4. You see no problem with the IP acquisitions yet you dislike the hackers for giving them away ?

  5. Sony did not disable or confine how you can use the hardware, just how you interact with the software, if you are logged on to the PlayStation network or use a PlayStation account then you play by Sony’s rules because its Sony’s community. its like saying that the cops are bad because they wont let you use your car and go 60 mph (or about 100 kph for Mitch) through a resident area. Its not limiting your ability to use your car, its just limiting how you use it on residential streets.

    [quote comment=”15946″]You see no problem with the IP acquisitions yet you dislike the hackers for giving them away ?[/quote]

    There is a difference between Sony acquiring your IP for a legal case and publishing it for everyone to see. One is for personal legal use and the other is basically identity theft. The whole Sony thing reminds me of the steam issue where the guy’s account was disabled because he tried to sell it, he was bitching about whether we really own the games we buy if they could do that but the fact is if you violate the agreement you singed then suck it up. If you disagree with the terms of use then don’t agree to it, but don’t violate it.

    [quote comment=”15936″]About issue #2.
    they got hacked…Not because people wanted to pirate games, but because they wanted to use the hardware they had paid for…It is this point at which people made mods to run pirated games. All this, because of Sony’s paranoia of piracy. And now they want to see who used these tools ?[/quote]

    If people really don’t want to pirate games then how come the first thing people did when the hack came out was pirate? The truth is that by the end of 2009 CoD:MW2 had 4.1 million downloads via torrents and in 2010 alone CoD:BLOPs had 4.2 million. On top of that World of Goo and Machinarium have approximate piracy rate of 90%. I am not here to argue the moral capacity of piracy just to say that Sony has every right to be concerned about it and every right to protect itself because according to World of Goo and Machinarium sales, 90% of gamers pirate.

  6. Eddy, your an absolute genius as the PsychoCop.Take that how you will.
    As far as the Hackers Vs. Sony thing goes, i just wish that they would take a bigger crack at people modding games like Modern Warfare online. Because that shit gets annoying

  7. The hackers that can actually crack these consoles never do it for the pirates, they do it because they want to use the hardware they paid for as if was their hardware, but xbox and wii restrict that, since you can only run signed code, you haven’t even got real access to the filesystem of these systems. Sony wasn’t hacked for so long because people who wanted to run their own programs could do so, by running them on linux. Once they disabled the ability to run linux on the ps3, then people started to hack it. Only then other people took the code they used to run pirated games. The ones who pirate aren’t usually educated enough to actually hack a console. The fact that proves my point is that the ps3 WASN’T hard to hack, nobody just bothered. Have you seen fa1loverfl0w’s presentation on the subject ?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4loZGYqaZ7I
    I think it’s stupid to try and restrict people from using stuff they have already bought. It’s like selling a gun to a 4 year old and then telling him not to shoot your brains out. Most won’t even know that you can do that kind of stuff with a gun, those who do are smart enough to use it. The piracy starts to happen when the first ones find out what you can do with a gun, and the only thing they will know what to do with it is blowing your brains out.
    Sony shouldn’t be hitting the hackers, they should make sure they don’t want to hack their console .

    And I’m sorry, but were World of Goo and Machinarium even released on the ps3 ? And I don’t really care for those who pirated them, I bought them with Humble Indy Bundle 2. And I only did so because they run on linux.

    1. Nevertell, I don’t disagree with anything you’re saying. I totally think that people should be able to use a console however they see fit. However, if you sign a TOS agreement that says you won’t mess with the system, then you are breaking that as soon as you opt to do so. If you don’t think you can abide by the TOS, don’t buy the system and don’t break the law. It’s as simple as that. Whether or not people SHOULD be allowed to do what they want with their hardware is actually a separate discussion to what is going on with GeoHotz. Sony is in its rights to persecute him, and that’s that.

      Also, your gun analogy is a tad weak, even though I understood what you meant. It would hold more water if you could use a gun to do other things besides, you know, shooting. Like making pancakes or something. 😉

  8. [quote comment=”15969″]Nevertell, I don’t disagree with anything you’re saying. I totally think that people should be able to use a console however they see fit. However, if you sign a TOS agreement that says you won’t mess with the system, then you are breaking that as soon as you opt to do so. If you don’t think you can abide by the TOS, don’t buy the system and don’t break the law. It’s as simple as that. Whether or not people SHOULD be allowed to do what they want with their hardware is actually a separate discussion to what is going on with GeoHotz. Sony is in its rights to persecute him, and that’s that.

    Also, your gun analogy is a tad weak, even though I understood what you meant. It would hold more water if you could use a gun to do other things besides, you know, shooting. Like making pancakes or something. ;)[/quote]

    I used an AK to make waffles just the other day.

  9. Didn’t those terms of use say that you just can’t use PSN if you temper with the software ? And removing the option to boot linux with a firmware update came with a TOS, that you can’t use PSN anymore if you don’t update. There wasn’t anything said about any prosecution, that might be happening if I break the TOS. What’s even more funny is that the hacker in case didn’t do anything against the law. And wasn’t there a law or something that the U.S. government/senate/whatever it is that makes laws in the states, that said that anyone can use the hardware they have the way they want, even though the manufacturer still can void the warranty if you do so.

    Well, the gun analogy sucks for sure, just couldn’t think of anything better. But it’s sort of true how many people have guns, but only some know how/when to properly use them.

  10. [quote comment=”15971″]Didn’t those terms of use say that you just can’t use PSN if you temper with the software ? And removing the option to boot linux with a firmware update came with a TOS, that you can’t use PSN anymore if you don’t update. There wasn’t anything said about any prosecution, that might be happening if I break the TOS. What’s even more funny is that the hacker in case didn’t do anything against the law. And wasn’t there a law or something that the U.S. government/senate/whatever it is that makes laws in the states, that said that anyone can use the hardware they have the way they want, even though the manufacturer still can void the warranty if you do so.

    Well, the gun analogy sucks for sure, just couldn’t think of anything better. But it’s sort of true how many people have guns, but only some know how/when to properly use them.[/quote]

    That was for jailbreaking an iPhone.

    This deals with a different segment of a different law I think.

  11. I think it’s the same.

    I’ll try one more time with the analogy thingy.
    If you buy a regular Mustang and fit a cheap supercharger to it so it goes as fast as a Mustang GT 500 and you offer others to fit the supercharger for free, Ford won’t come round the corner with an army of lawyers. Only in this case, they don’t sell the Mustang GT 500 anymore.

    I agree, Sony may not let you use PSN, they may void your warranty, but sueing you for using something you’ve bought is stupid.

    Ok, I might have been carried away a little, and I must apologize for the ranting.

  12. [quote comment=”15971″]And wasn’t there a law or something that the U.S. government/senate/whatever it is that makes laws in the states, that said that anyone can use the hardware they have the way they want, even though the manufacturer still can void the warranty if you do so.[/quote]

    You can use the hardware however you want, just not while logged on to a PSN account. That’s why Sony can prosecute anyone who hacks the system while still using a PSN account. Because Sony makes the rules on PSN they can enforce the rules on PSN.

  13. But when those hacks can be used to destroy Modern Warfare 2’s online community and allow piracy…that’s detrimental to others. That has no place there. And sadly, not all hackers are as benevolent.

  14. Yes, but this isn’t about psn hackers. It’s about those who made it possible for others to hack it. I am all against little morons hacking online games, but weren’t the MW2’s hacks released before the whole jailbreak thing ? Even then, the first time geohot cracked the SPEs, he
    had to run it without the case, add a pulse generator to bug/crash the memory controller or whatnot, far more difficult for your average teenager to do just to annoy someone on teh internetz.
    AFAIK, the game was bugged, and even though they patched it, due to a bug in the GameOS, people could force their way into the psn without the patch and still do mischief.

    Anyway, piracy is a never ending war, and I think they lasted hell of a long time for a console. And if they wanted, they could make even more restrictive DRM stuff through PSN, but that would just piss the hackers off even more. And that’s my original point, the reason they got hacked was they pissed the hackers off. And now they are suing them ?

    Anyways, it is of course bad to pirate games and I think that all the psn hackers should be banned. That’s what they should do- not make new firmware updates but just ban the hacked consoles, I am sure as hell the jailbreak process leaves behind some log files in the places a normal user couldn’t write in, so all they need to do is make a script that checks for irregularities. Of course, this could violate privacy policies and whatnot, but that hasn’t been a concern for sony, as far as I know.

    And we should define the term “hacker”. There are the ones that hack games with trial and error methods of modifying config files they then upload to the console for the game to use, and then there are the ones that actually try to reverse-engineer their way out of the restrictions manufacturers lay upon the consoles. And the latter never use PSN, or play online for that matter.

  15. Sort of 😀
    It’s just that most of the people able to do such things are also capable of understanding the hard work devs put into their games. They don’t buy the consoles for the games, they buy them for the hardware. Mostly.

  16. [quote comment=”15968″]The hackers that can actually crack these consoles never do it for the pirates, they do it because they want to use the hardware they paid for as if was their hardware, but xbox and wii restrict that, since you can only run signed code, you haven’t even got real access to the filesystem of these systems. Sony wasn’t hacked for so long because people who wanted to run their own programs could do so, by running them on linux. Once they disabled the ability to run linux on the ps3, then people started to hack it. Only then other people took the code they used to run pirated games. The ones who pirate aren’t usually educated enough to actually hack a console. The fact that proves my point is that the ps3 WASN’T hard to hack, nobody just bothered. Have you seen fa1loverfl0w’s presentation on the subject ?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4loZGYqaZ7I
    I think it’s stupid to try and restrict people from using stuff they have already bought. It’s like selling a gun to a 4 year old and then telling him not to shoot your brains out. Most won’t even know that you can do that kind of stuff with a gun, those who do are smart enough to use it. The piracy starts to happen when the first ones find out what you can do with a gun, and the only thing they will know what to do with it is blowing your brains out.
    Sony shouldn’t be hitting the hackers, they should make sure they don’t want to hack their console .

    And I’m sorry, but were World of Goo and Machinarium even released on the ps3 ? And I don’t really care for those who pirated them, I bought them with Humble Indy Bundle 2. And I only did so because they run on linux.[/quote]

    Actually, after Geohot hacked it, is when Sony removed Linux. Not the other way around.

Comments are closed.