Our favorite men in blue are back, eager to bring gaming justice to a spattering of industry-related topics from the last few weeks: Nintendo’s stance against indie developers, Sony’s subpoenas and Microsoft’s On Demand pricing.
I’m sure you know the rules by now, but just in case you don’t: GameCop is a sensible gamer, looking out for your best interests. LameCop is your average forum troll, causing havoc for the lulz, while PsychoCop should be locked up for everyone’s safety.
Keep reading to find out what they have to say on these issues:
Nintendo recently surprised a gamers with their firm statement about not working with what they called “garage developers”. Fair or foul by the Big N?
Nintendo isn’t a “big, bad corporation” for not wanting to reach out to the so-called “garage devs”. Small one and two person outfits are exponentially more risky than independent studios.
Nintendo isn’t denying these studios a shot by closing their doors to them, even if it does look that way. Nintendo didn’t get to the top of the heap by throwing money this way and that. They got there by playing it safe, and that’s the way it’s going to stay. If you want Nintendo to take you on, prove youself as a developer first.
“Prove yourself as a developer”? Riddle me this, Canada, how is a self-respecting guy in his father’s garage supposed to prove himself when the Big N, which obviously stands for “NO” decides to take its ball and go home before the game even starts?
Indie devs are all the rage and what is more indie than a one or two person dev team? And why should they have to prove themselves to anyone, especially to a company whose most recent innovation (3DS) involves a battery that lasts about as long as a game of Cut The Rope? I say hire them all up, put them all in a room with unlimited coffee and cocaine and within in a week, you will have the ultimate game: Super Angry Rope of Warcraft-mon II: Reach.
Listen up, pigs. The only garage Reggie Fils-Aime needs to worry about is the one where he parks his Mario Karts. Everyone is all concerned about indie games this and indie games that. You want to know what indie I’m concerned about? Indiana Jones, that’s who.
Check this out: I got a tip from a guy that knows Dr. Jones, and he says he’s found the relic of Forgotten Memories buried deep within the black heart of Nintendo’s secret headquarters on the moon. No, their actual base is not in Japan or in Washington, or whatever lie you sheep believed. It’s on the freaking moon, and not even Earth’s moon. Hyrule’s. I have attached an artist’s rendition:
I am leaving at midnight the day before March 31st. The Forgotten Memories will be mine. Also, you get to meet Han Solo if you come with me. Who’s in?
Sony is going after the hacker GeoHotz hardcore, and has even gone as far as to grab the identities of all visitors to his site. Is Sony within its rights to subpoena everyone and their mom?
I think it’s a bit of both. While Sony certainly has the right to go after anyone it feels violated their terms of service agreement (which you acknowledge before getting the system set up), I do think their overreach might paint them as the bad guy. A lot of people are upset that Sony has acquired the rights from a California court to look at all the IPs of people that visited GeoHotz’s site. While this seems like a huge breach of privacy, it must be acknowledged that GeoHotz’s camp are the ones that gave this information up. So basically, from my understanding, he sold out his site’s visitors to protect himself. Because that’s what people do when they get put into a sling like this.
In the end, I doubt Sony will be able to actually persecute the guy or fully get the damages they want resolved out of this. It’s coming across the way the music industry did when people started using Napster. I think future console producers are going to need to figure out a happy medium that allows users the flexibility to do as they wish with their own product that they purchased. In the immediate future, however, if you signed a TOS agreement, then you should stick to it.
Listen, “Eddy”, if that is your real name, GeoHotz is a man of the people, fighting back against the tyrannical oppressor that is Sony. By this point in the game, companies should realize that we are going to haxxor anything and everything, and there’s not much they can do about it.
There’s a reason that the Terms of Service are longer than the Bible, and that’s a purposeful trick to get people to sign up for them out of impatience. I once read Sony’s ToS and the last six pages were just the words “Screw Flanders” over and over again. This is a total bait and switch and I would willing give up my personal information to protect GeoHotz’s right to violate such fraudulent documents. Until companies stop making ToS such a labyrinthine legal dance to safe guard themselves against these events, then we’re just going to keep doing what we’re doing. So there.
Terms of service? Sounds more like a slave contract if you ask me. We all know that the Kevin Butler ad campaign is really just an attempt at mind control. I mean, come on, the Move and the 3-D TVs and Nathan Drake? All just attempts by to Sony to bait the hook and lure us into their web of deceit, where we we all chant RIIIIIIIIDDDDGEE RAAAAACER over and over again until only the gong sound from Uncharted sounding off at regular intervals renders us blissful and silent.
Geohotz, praise his name, is the John Conner of our time, fighting against Sony (AKA Skynet). He probably even lives with his mom still, just like…you guessed it: John Conner. I mean, think about it, the guy is great with computers, has a shitty haircut (because he’s always on the run) and an annoying voice. Geohotz, please save us from the Sony Overlord!
Microsoft is currently charging $49.99 for Halo: Reach for download On Demand. Say what?
Ok, just breathe, we can get through this. I know it’s asinine for Microsoft to charge the same for digital download as for a physical retail copy, but let’s be honest: people are going to buy this anyway. Not a ton of people, but more than you would expect. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about gamers, it’s that they are lazy and love to spend money.
Sure, a discount would be nice, but until the market proves that it’s necessary, we won’t be seeing one, certainly not out of the kindness of Microsoft’s (alleged) heart. But we can control what we purchase. So do us all a favor and don’t buy Reach digitally. Buy it from a store so that Microsoft will see the flaw in their thinking and adjust accordingly.
Oh HO! Anthony would say to just chillax, take a deep breath and move on from this, but I think the sensible gamers among us know what’s best: that Halo: Reach is the epitome of all teh Haloz and must be purchased even more so Microsoft knows more of what we demand.
Think about it: if every XBL member buys one of these – and I’m assuming there are at least like 50 million people on XBL – Microsoft is going to make something like 250 billion dollars straight cash. That’s enough for at least 3 more Halo games, and maybe they can get Bungie back on them. Come on guys, where’s your indie dev spirit? We need to support the companies that make niche titles like these space marine shooters and really put our money where our mouths are. I’ll bet Anthony would pirate this online if he could. Pirate!
Ah, my two friends, arguing about such a trivial matter. Whatever you think about Microsoft’s aim with releasing Reach via brick and mortar or digitally matters not, for it is a most sacred and holy video text, or “vext” as it is known to ath’ram, the chosen people.
Time has looped back upon itself unbeknown to all but those possessed of incredible mental ability, and Reach is the log of a human conflict in the far future-past. This is why Microsoft is charging the same to download the vext as the stores are; they know that all must be educated in the ways of our past-future. Rejoice and pay your ticket to salvation, my brothers!
So, the Cops have turned in their statements! Any thoughts on their thoughts? Report!