GameCop Vs LameCop Vs PsychoCop

Well, GamerSushi-ans, the last time we had a GC vs LC vs PC was back in June, before E3. Ah, things were so innocent then. We had no knowledge of the terrible Kinect software, Portal 2 on the PS3 and Kid Icarus on the Nintendo 3DS. It was a simpler time. And now we’re back, ready to kick off the Fall with a new edition.

If you’re unfamiliar with this feature, we discuss gaming issues and we switch roles each time. The GameCop is looking out for you, the gamer, while the LameCop is just what he sounds like: kind of a lamewad. Meanwhile, PsychoCop is a troll in every sense of the word, and completely bat poop insane.

The topics of this week’s feature include the Final Fantasy XIV experience cap, Dead Rising Case Zero and the raised subscription fees of XBox Live.


Issue 1

It seems that Final Fantasy XIV, the new MMO entry into the series, is going to start diminishing experience after 7 hours of play a week. It lessens down to nothing by the 15 hour mark. Fair or foul by Square Enix? What do you guys think about this?

Final Fantasy XIV

GameCop: Anthony

With the news that Square Enix’s upcoming MMO Final Fantasy XIV will have a limit on the amount of time you can earn full experience, heads have exploded, teeth have been gnashed and dogs and cats are now living together. As someone who is always looking out for my fellow gamers, I urge restraint in these trying times.

First, the time limit is per class, so you can switch to a different class, while still being the same character and try something new, which is likely to be required anyway during the game. I know some MMO vets have their bread and butter classes, but this might help you branch out and try something new. Free your mind, square! And since FF XIV is aimed at consoles n00bs, it will even the playing field a bit. Basically, we should all wait and see before we jump to conclusions, one way or another.

LameCop: Mitch

RESTRAINT? We are gamers, and we do not know the meaning of restraint, unless the act of doing so involves additional XP for taking prisoners alive. As a single male, age 18-25, I have a ton of free time and disposable income on my hands. If I want to use that time and money to gain unfair advantages in a video game, that’s my right!

How dare these developers try to make their game available to all users regardless of skill or available play time? It’s survival of the fittest out in the Internet, baby, and I have the strongest will in the world. The flesh is weak, but my spirit is strong, indomitable. I say bring on your 40 hour bosses and your impossible advancements skills. Time limits are for babies.

PsychoCop: Eddy

This reminds me of a funny story that happened one time to me and my friend Bill. Bill was playing Final Fantasy Tactics and it had that opening FMV with all the Chocobos running around. I says to Bill: Hey dude let me play. And Bill’s like: This isn’t a game jerkwad. And I say: Bill, there’s going to be consequences. Anyway, right when we’re about to throw down, a Chocobo breaks down the wall like the Kool-Aid man and we start freaking out because holy crap a Chocobo is in our room. And the Chocobo is then like, laying down prophecies and crap about the FFXIV experience cap and the dip in the economy, all coming this decade. I’m like, what the effe, a talking bird, so Bill and I grabbed his dad’s rifle and we put it down. Not with bullets, though, because we couldn’t find any. We just beat it to death. It hummed the Chocobo theme with its final breath.

Basically you people are missing the point. Are there Chocobos in FFXIV, and can I hunt them?


Issue 2

The recently released Dead Rising 2 prologue known as Case: 0 is being criticized as nothing more than a paid demo. What do you think of Capcom’s move to do this?

Dead Rising 2 Case: 0

GameCop: MitchLameCop: Eddy

Sorry Mitch, but I couldn’t hear you over all of that corporate butt kissing you’re doing. I bet you’ll defend Capcom when they charge me 50 cents to press start, or 80 cents to look at Sheva’s ass in the next Resident Evil game. You’re actually going to tell me that companies can charge precious moneys for anything and everything, and it’s up to me to speak out with my wallet? Screw that noise. I speak with my mouth and with MY CAPSLOCK. YOU HEAR THAT, GAME COMPANIES? I WILL NOT BE A PAWN IN YOUR CORPORATE GAME. THE LOUDER I SPEAK THE MORE YOU WILL GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND THAT IS YOUR CRAPPY DEMO FOR FREE.

While we’re at it, any game related thing I can think of should be free. Peripherals, hardware, all that stuff. I don’t know what planet you grew up on, but here on planet America, I get what I want when I want.

PsychoCop: Anthony

Aw, it’s cute the way you ladies fight over such silly things. See, Capcom is actually doing us a service by making us pay for the Zombie Survival Training Simulator. Its Darwinian at its best. Those that thrive and can afford to pay cash monies for such a small trifle will reveal themselves to be the most affluent members of our society, the ones who think nothing of lighting their cigars with hundred and fifty dollar bills. What’s a hundred and fifty dollar bill, you ask? If you ain’t rolling in them, you aren’t making it in the world.

So why is this so important? When the inevitable Zombie Holocaust occurs, those creme de la creme of the world, who forked over the money for a Dead Rising 2 demo, will have a leg up on the rest of the world, having trained and prepared for this moment through our video games. This will allow us to push the rest of you cheapskates down to the ground and make your brains more easily accessible for the zombie horde, while the L337 will rise to the top and rule the world.


Issue 3

Oh noz! Microsoft is upping the subscription fee of XBox Live from $50 to $60 per year. Fair or foul?

Xbox Live Subscription

GameCop: Eddy

Does it have to be either/or? When you look at it reasonably, it’s really only an increase from $4 to $5 per month. Considering that the price has stayed the same since the last generation, it was logical to assume a price increase would come along at some point. If you’re currently an XBL subscriber and want to bypass it, you can always re-up now to save yourself the extra cash.

But there’s another side to this, as well. While XBL has a robust set of features that makes up for this price differential, not everyone is going to make use of all of those. Sure, if someone wanted, they could check out in between curb stomps or slayer matches, and then follow that up with some Tweeting, but that’s not for everybody out there. At some point, Microsoft is going to have to show up with a tiered XBL pricing offering, so people that don’t use those features aren’t paying for them. At which point I imagine we’ll see an even more expensive version, as well. Start saving your dollars, folks.

LameCop: Anthony

Reasonably? In this economy, who can afford to be reasonable? Seems Mr. Rivas is intent on blowing on his (allegedly) hard-earned money on frivolous things, like paying for the right to have 12 year olds belt you with slurs. Well, if that’s the case, I provide that service for free and I have a much richer baritone!

Seriously, it’s bad enough that people are forced to pay ANYTHING in order to play games online, especially when PC and PSN provide this basic service for free. But now because they are adding a bunch of features that no one will ever use, they have to raise the price? What’s next, charge me extra if I want to see the bottom of my avatar’s shoe?

PsychoCop: Mitch

It has finally come to pass, people! Microsoft is making the final push to build its army of X-BOTS. We all thought that this was just a derogatory name for M$ fanboys, but little did we know that it was secretly the code name for their private army of matte-white terminators! They’ve been funneling money from LIVE for all these years, and now that the X-BOTS are near completion, they’ve bumped up their main source on income.

Now that you know the truth, brothers, you must flock to my banner. Together, we will march on Redmond, Washington and take the fight to Microsoft’s obsidian citadel! No more will we be shackled by features such as cross-game chat and exclusive Call of Duty DLC. The time is now, brethren! Forward! To glory!


So, there you have it for the newest edition of GameCop vs LameCop vs PsychoCop. Thoughts? Go!

Written by

I write about samurai girls and space marines. Writer for Smooth Few Films. Rooster Teeth Freelancer. Author of Red vs. Blue, The Ultimate Fan Guide, out NOW!

4 thoughts on “GameCop Vs LameCop Vs PsychoCop”

  1. Wow, awesome as usual guys. However, I’ve read the Zombie Survival Guide so I don’t require demo-based traing to survive!

  2. Ya know what, I agree with PsychoCop. lol

    1: I’d actually like to see how FF14 turns out. It’s probably the first MMO where the developer can keep everything fairly centralized and structured, since they have certain times when people can get certain levels. I’d like to see how they take advantage of the structured progression. The only thing that might be bad is if players get left behind while everyone else keeps up from cap-to-cap.

    2: I don’t mind Case Zero being a prequel; I think it’s a cool little bonus that gets you hyped for Dead Rising 2 proper and Capcom makes a couple extra bucks off of it. At least Capcom is actually putting some effort into the story…even though Case Zero’s storyline could have been included in the full game. Well…just don’t pull more of this crap, Capcom, when it comes to things that should reasonably be free.

    3: Actually, I don’t like what Microsoft is doing. What if I don’t want to pay $10 more for features I don’t want to pay for? Microsoft gets really greedy when it comes to DLC and other things they do, and it really does irritate me. I don’t want to sacrifice being able to play games online simply because Microsoft doesn’t understand that if they make their services like Steam, EVERYONE will LOVE them. I really hate dangerously stupid businessmen.

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