Anthony’s Super-Mega-Ultra-Extreme-Love Letter to Final Fantasy XIII

On March 9th, in the year two thousand and ten A.D., Square Enix (BOW YOUR HEAD IN REVERENCE, DOGS!) will finally unveil, for the first time in North America…




(Please exhale now)

So it has come to this. After years of waiting, years of sitting in front of a television, playing countless games not named Final Fantasy, it is time. Glory be to the gods, for they have deigned to shine their light upon us mere gaming mortals.

To give you an idea how much I love this series, allow me reveal a secret, something I have never revealed to anyone, except those that didn’t cover their ears and run away screaming from me: This is the only game that matters to me.

You read that right. This is the reason I upgraded to the new console generation. This is what keeps me playing games. Every single game I have played on the PS3, Wii or 360 has simply been a distraction to get me to this game. Grand Theft Auto 4, Fallout 3, Resident Evil 5 (Cover your eyes, Eddy)… all of them nothing more than obstacles on my way to the prize. I have been killing time for four long years and it’s almost over. Now time kills me. Wait, that’s not right…

Now, some of you may be asking what is so special about this particular Final Fantasy that has generated this kind of psychotic episode.

The answer?

Not a damn thing.

HD graphics? I still have an SDTV. (By the way: if I can’t read the text on my TV, I am going to throw my old TV out and go to the store THAT VERY MINUTE and buy an HDTV. I have already warned all loved ones and relatives about flying TVs on March 9th.)

Trophies? Not a factor. (Although, if one game could ever make me grind for all of them, it’s this one.)

The story? I am interested, but it’s not a compelling reason for me.

No, the reason I am so eager to play this Final Fantasy is because of one reason and only one reason: It’s the next one.

It’s two words (hint: Final Fantasy), followed by a number. No long and insane subtitle. No number, a dash and then another number to denote an actual sequel. Just a new world, new battle system and all new experience.

No other game series has as much change from one entry to the next. The difference between God of War and God of War 3 is not drastic. Even Mass Effect 2, which threw out many RPG elements, is merely a streamlined and highly refined version of the first game.

Only Final Fantasy does this with each sequel.

Not even highly disturbing rumblings from those that have played it can dampen my blind enthusiasm. No traditional towns? No problem! Maneuvering through Mass Effect’s gigantic Citadel is tiresome. Town exploring was always more fun in 2-D for me anyway.

Mostly linear? I am mostly ok with that. Final Fantasy X was very linear and all Final Fantasy games open up late in the game.

There is nothing anyone can tell me that could possible ruin this for…excuse me? It’s COMING OUT ON THE 360??? WTF, Square Enix! How can you do this to your loyal Nintendo Sony fanbase?? Oh, but it has multiple disks? And the graphics are noticeable worse? HAHAHAHA! So that means they will have to get off their fat asses once over 15 hours or so to see more slightly less than optimal graphics? Well, I guess I can live with that.

So on March 9th, when I get off from work and go to pick up my copy, say a little prayer for me. Because no Final Fantasy has ever disappointed me and if this is the first, I will have shamed my family with this sycophantic diatribe and hari-kari will be the only option left.

Until then…I guess I will just play Mass Effect (which is awesome).

You spoony bards.

Written by

Age: 34 PSN ID: Starkiller81. I've played games since before I can remember, starting with my dad's Atari and I haven't stopped yet. Keep them coming and I will keep playing them.

6 thoughts on “Anthony’s Super-Mega-Ultra-Extreme-Love Letter to Final Fantasy XIII”

  1. I’m glad that you can acknowledge your irrational love and expectancy of this game. I hope that it doesn’t end up disappointing you, but from what I’ve read of the reviews it really is a fantastic game.

    My issue is that I think the FF games (and JRPGs in general) have long since been relevant to my personal gaming tastes. I used to be in love with them, but their formula has worn thin. However, from what I’ve read about FF 13, it does a lot of similar things to Mass Effect 2 in that it strips off the dead weight that comes with the genre and really just lets gamers have fun with the combat and story.

    In short, I’m psyched and will be purchasing it for the PS3 next Tuesday.

  2. Am I the only that finds this somewhat disturbing? I agree with Eddy about the formula being thin (and IGN found a good way to fix a lot of it and as of late Western RPG’s have been awesome, especially my favorite game of the generation Mass Effect. Good luck on March 9th Anthony, and be careful where that TV lands.

  3. Is it weird that i followed the order to exhale? Even though i wasn’t holding my breath? Also, i think it’s cool that this is multi-platform, even though Xbox fanboys are probably ablaze in most forums.

  4. I’m just eager for the return of the JRPG genre. There’s nothing like the crunchy, turn-based combat of a classic JRPG.

    I’m actually a bit tired of the “avatar” aspect of western RPGs, where your character’s personality is determined by your dialogue choices and the actions you take. That’s cool and all, but sometimes I just want to be swept up in a soap opera of a game like the Final Fantasy series.

    For example, FF8 is my favorite of the series not because of any aspect of the game design (though its all unique and fun), but rather because I kept playing it solely to see if Squall would finally kiss Rinoa. Who cares that the fate of the universe is in jeopardy, these characters are hopelessly in love with each other and neither one knows how to express it! The fact that I, as a player, was powerless to do anything about this situation increased the tension and appeal for me. There was no strategy or mini-game to getting them together, you just had to wait and see how the story unfolded. I’ve never been so wrapped up in a game before.

    In other words, I completely understand where Anthony is coming from on this one. There’s no franchise quite like Final Fantasy.

  5. I was always going to upgrade generation but I chose the PS3 for MGS4 and Heavy Rain. Worth every frickin’ penny. If it wasn’t for those games, then I may have gone for a 360!

  6. Well i just preordered my $160nzd collectors edition from EB games, and will be picking it up on march 9 on NZ. Which is march 8 in the states because of time differences. HAH.[/endbrag]

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