The 2009 Sushis: A Year In Review

There are plenty of “best of the year” lists floating around for video games these days. But none of them are the Sushis. The Sushis represent a higher pedigree, one that rises above all of the other bush league video game blogs out there. These awards really mean something, people.

OK, maybe not. But they’re fun as hell, and that’s the point of playing games, right?

The Sushi awards represent our goofy and snarky take on the year in gaming, for better or worse, chosen by the GS dudes. A proper “best of” list is coming this weekend, but for now, enjoy these custom awards and feel free to comment on them.




Best Controller Breaker

Winner: Demon’s Soul

Demon's SoulEver get so mad that you don’t even react, almost like you are having an out of body experience, with your soul floating outside your body to see the rage on your face? Demon’s Souls is kind of like that, with the added element of throwing your controller at your floating soul to wipe the smirk off its stupid face!

The thing that makes Demon’s Souls so extra infuriating is that when you die, it’s your fault. The controls of the game are tight and no death is cheap, so when you fail, it’s because you made a mistake. The bright side is that I set a new world record in Dualshock3 Shotput Event!

Runner Up For All The Wrong Reasons: Ghostbusters




Most Ludicrous Plot Device

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

50 Cent: Blood On The SandDiamond covered skulls. Who doesn’t love ’em? Well, I know that we all do, but 50 Cent is ready to kill Iraqis by the busload for his. He got wronged in a deal and now he’s going to end the War on Terror with his uzis, Tony Yayo, and some Gears of War style gameplay. Maybe the US government can start taking notes?

The diamond covered skull is not only a ludicrous plot device and a whacky motivation for our hero, it also provides some of the zaniest and most outlandish dialogue you’ll ever here in a video game. You can only hear the phrase “where my skull” so many times before it gets more and more hilarious. Kudos to 50 on his performance, though. I really believed that he needed that skull, man.

Equally Loopy Plot Device: Titan Serum In Batman: Arkham Asylum




Best Fan Screw-Over Award

Winner: Modern Warfare 2, PC Version

Modern Warfare 2Do you remember on Christmas Day when you would open your presents and it turned out that your Dad only bought you stuff that he wanted so you would give it to him? Well, uh, me neither, but I imagine that’s exactly what it felt like to be a PC player who booted up Modern Warfare 2 for the first time. Instead of opening up the game to the community, as PC players are used to, developers Infinity Ward snatched it back immediately as if saying: “This is our game! You guys would just mess it up! Nyahh!”

Now who’s the big jerk, Infinity Ward? Not only is the game ten dollars more than every other PC game out there, but the multiplayer is so broken that Epic Games laughs at you behind your back. After years of being one of the foremost PC supports out there, you’ve now launched your public good-will back into the Stone Age. This is why you get the Fan Screw-Over Award.

Just as Offensive: Halo ODST’s $60 Price Tag




STFU Award For Over-Exposed Voice Actor

Winner: Nolan North

Nolan North in Uncharted 2I get it, Nolan North. You sound like Nathan Fillion. Nerds love Nathan Fillion. You’re also pretty stinking good at what you do, we get that. You are really awesome as Nathan Drake and have made that franchise rather cool. But for the love of all things sacred, your voice is going to start making my ears bleed.

Let’s rattle off a few of the games you appeared in recently: Prince of Persia, Halo Wars, Uncharted 2: Drake’s Fortune, Assassin’s Creed 2, Avatar: The Game, InFamous, Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, Halo: ODST… Yes, this list actually goes on, people. I’m happy you’re getting work, Nolan. Really, I am. But STFU plz.

Could Stand To Hear More Of: Claudia Black




Biggest Complaint I Can’t Find Evidence For

Winner: Sheva’s AI in Resident Evil 5

Sheva in Resident Evil 5Confession from Anthony: I played the entire game solo. And never once had an issue with Sheva’s AI. So many people complained about this, but I found it to be a non-issue. If you don’t want her to waste ammo, dole it out as you see fit. I gave her the machine pistols and healing items and used her for extra storage and I flew through the game with little trouble with her.

Must be a user error. Fail.

Totally Legitimate: Dual Shotties in Modern Warfare 2




Biggest OCD Inducer

Winner: Dragon Age: Origins

Dragon Age: OriginsWhile all RPGs are synonymous with massive amounts of items that have slightly different stats, Dragon Age is the biggest offender for that this year. Sure, the Blight may be encroaching on the nation of Ferelden and Darkspawn are running rampant across every village, but man, that sword I just picked up adds +4 to strength with +7 armor penetration. But the mace I’m carrying lessens fatigue and has a bigger boost to constitution, but does .7 more damage. Is that better or worse? And how is it possible that wearing more armor will give me less fatigue?

I need to sit down.

Also For Stat Whores: Borderlands




Best Game People Forget Was In 2009

Winner: Resident Evil 5

Resident Evil 5After the ridiculous amount of games we got hit with at the end of the year, it’s hard to believe this generation defining title came out in just March of 2009. I’ve eaten my crow about this game several times already, and am glad that the gaming media at large got their comeuppance after ragging on it for so long. It had wonderful co-op, a riveting story, awesome cut scenes and tons of replay value. Really, it’s a strong contender for the game of the year, and perhaps spoiled us all early.

Also Awesome And Early: InFamous




Best Time Yelling At Friends

Winner: Borderlands

BorderlandsThis is a repeat award from last year, but I think we need to dish one of these out each and year. After all, with co-op and multiplayer becoming more and more of a central focus, there’s always going to be those excellent titles that make sure you play together and hate each other at the same time. Last year, it was Left 4 Dead. This year? Borderlands.

Gearbox’s shooter provides great fodder to stir up those old loot whoring wounds that might stem all the way back from Diablo or Champions of Norrath. All it takes is that one guy leaving the fray to grab that special incendiary sniper rifle to start a chorus of shouting before everything goes to hell. Luckily, you all share the same pot of money, but still… you really needed that gun.

More Rage: New Super Mario Brothers Wii




Rotten Sushi Award

Winner: Tony Hawk: Ride

Tony Hawk RideIn a landscape inundated and bogged down with stinking stupid peripherals and waggle controls, do we really need another ludicrous attachment? Tony Hawk Ride not only came with an absurd price tag, it also came with a mechanic that makes you say aloud to yourself “seriously?”. For this to take the cake in the same year as DJ Hero really is a testament to how much this game flopped.

Heck, it even produces its own epic fails. Take Burnie Burns from Rooster Teeth, for example.

Just As Vomit Inducing: Wet


And there you have it, The Second Annual Sushi Awards! Tell us what you agree/disagree with, and what some of your thoughts on gaming in 2009 were. The proper “Best Of” list is coming later this week!

Written by

I write about samurai girls and space marines. Writer for Smooth Few Films. Rooster Teeth Freelancer. Author of Red vs. Blue, The Ultimate Fan Guide, out NOW!

11 thoughts on “The 2009 Sushis: A Year In Review”

  1. Agree with: Sheva’s AI. I thought it was really good. She never wasted ammo. Why? She’s a computer! Computer are 100% accurate. A hit is not a wasted round.

    Disagree with: RE5 being generation defining.

    Agree with but still hate pationately: Dual shotties (1887 specifically, Rangers are more balanced but 1887’s aren’t game breaking I guess).

    Mistake noticed that no-one will care about: “I’m happy you’re getting work, Nathan. Really, I am. But STFU plz.” Nolan. Not Nathan.

    Awesome list guys! Keep these things coming!

  2. since I have not played Borderlands yet my best time yelling at friends is not a game but the Hard Rain campaign in Left 4 Dead 2. also I think that Sheva’s AI must be worse on the PC version because I am having a hell of a time trying to get her not to shoot me. I died seven times on one level because she would run behind me then proceed to shoot through me in an attempt to kill the bad guys! but too each his own

  3. I agree with this whole list, except for dual shotties. you can beat dual rangers, but dual 1887s are ridiculous. You see people running around with arms as long as Michael Jordan’s, and boom, your dead.

  4. Thanks for the MW2 Mention. They really F*cked us this time… So I stole the game. (muhahah).

    Kudos to 50 cent for some how selling everything ever to everyone. Anyone see him on Conan/Fallon the last time he was around? Man’s a marketing genious. Soon he’ll be on Dragon’s Den / Shark Tank.

    Great list guys.

  5. [quote comment=”10060″]Thanks for the MW2 Mention. They really F*cked us this time… So I stole the game. (muhahah).

    Kudos to 50 cent for some how selling everything ever to everyone. Anyone see him on Conan/Fallon the last time he was around? Man’s a marketing genious. Soon he’ll be on Dragon’s Den / Shark Tank.

    Great list guys.[/quote]

    So if a company doesn’t make a game to your exact specifications, you feel as if you are exempt from buying it?

  6. Depends on the specifications. Call of Duty games belong online, COD4 was awesome and I played it for a year and a half online on a regluar basis (which is rare). Most games don’t have “it”; to be a great online game.

    So basically Modern Warfare 2 didn’t really do anything great. The story felt rushed, it was obvious how much pressure they were under. They Screwed the PC players interms of Online, and a long with a few other nitpickings, the game was overall ‘not good’ compared to what CoD4 did to the franchise. Sure it sold a lot, but that’s not what makes ME buy a game personally.

    Either way, I still had to play it, give it a chance. I’m just glad I didn’t spend 60 bucks.

  7. I agree with all but the part about ODST’s price tag. It came with all of Halo 3’s maps, 3 new ones, 8 hour campaign with meta game and 4 player co op, and Firefight. Bioshock had an 8 hour campaign. Yet no one complains about Bioshock…

  8. [quote comment=”10085″]I agree with all but the part about ODST’s price tag. It came with all of Halo 3’s maps, 3 new ones, 8 hour campaign with meta game and 4 player co op, and Firefight. Bioshock had an 8 hour campaign. Yet no one complains about Bioshock…[/quote]

    Ha, it’s funny that you mention that. I think we might be the only two people who believe that ODST’s price tag was fine.

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