Crazy old Dr. Luveno decides he wants me to fetch his assistant. Fine, makes sense that this batshit inventor would not be able to function without a handler. Hell, Paula Abdul has a whole team of them and she can’t even judge a talent contest. This quest turns out to be pretty easy as the assistant is hiding in the underground passage in the middle of town. 30 seconds later, I have him back safe and sound with Dr. Nutsy. Oh, but Luveno needs funding to build the spaceship, which will set me back about 1200 mesetas. Not a bad bargain when you think about it, but money is scarce in this game. Since I literally have no choice at all, I pay up.
But I’ve been had! I can’t fly the damn thing without Hapsby, the Laconion Robot Pilot! Is there no obstacle this game won’t throw my way? I think I figured out who made this the thing: the DMV. Only thing is that the load times are pretty short, so maybe it wasn’t them. Have to think on that one. Anyhoo, I head up to Bortevo, the town where I heard the robot is laying around somewhere. I literally have to walk through lava to get there. Whatever crazy stuff Lassic (the bad guy, remember?) is up to doesn’t involve cleaning up after a volcanic eruption.
So after all that hardship, not a damn thing here. There is a cave just north of the town, so I explore there and come across a town called Abion. The townsfolk tell me of something called The Amber Eye and it’s being held by a dragon in Casba. Awesome. Love slaying dragons. Everyone also seems very aware that I am trying to kill Lassic. Is nothing a secret in this universe? Honestly, people tell me about robots, spaceships, dragons and my own quest to kill the lawful ruler of this system of planets. Like I am in a Twilight Zone episode or something. In this lovely town is Polymeteral, which should allow me to find Hapsby in the junkpiles back in Bortevo. Not only that, but one guy tells me of a certain nut that allows cats to become huge and fly! I wonder if that might be useful later…
Abion has one more interesting aspect to it. A woman tells me about a strange man with a strange pot doing strange experiments on animals. There is a dungeon in town which I enter and it leads me to…a strange man! Dr. Mad, which is honestly, the most awesome name I have heard in quite some time. I wonder if he’s related to Dr. Horrible? Dr. Mad asks me to, “BRING THAT CAT HERE!” So I oblige him and he EATS MYAU! Straight up, homey just ate my feline. There is a FILTHY joke in there, but consider it a compliment that I leave it up to you to write it. Thankfully, I am an RPG veteran and I saved the game just before I entered this dungeon. A quick reload and this time I refuse and the mad Dr. Mad attacks me. I cast WALL, which deflects Dr. Mad’s meager manuevers and I quickly stomp a mudhole in him and walk it dry.
This battle’s reward is a LACONION POT! I’m rich, bitch! These things are worth 1 billion mesetas, remember? My prayers have been answered and as God is my witness I will never be hungry aga..what? I can’t sell it? Son of a motherless goat! Not only that, but Noah decided he wanted to be a little drama queen and die during that battle, so I have to spend money and revive his blue haired ass. There are some decent weapons and armor in this town, too, so I have to grind for money for a bit. Which is where we will leave things for now. Check back later for Part VII: Rock the Casba Dragon.