GameCop vs. LameCop is a feature where Anthony and I argue about video game issues, playing the role of either the GameCop or the LameCop as we do so. We switch roles each time. The GameCop has your best interests as gamers at heart, while the LameCop is just what he sounds like: a total loser.
This week, we tackle several issues including GTA IV’s DLC dong, Resident Evil 5 and the problem with reviewing video games too early.
GTA IV DLC The Lost and Damned has a bit of an old man dong shown during in a cutscene. Attention whoring or legitimate expression of art?
Well, well. Rockstar seems to have learned their lesson from Hot Coffee.
And that lesson was don’t HIDE the nudity and offensive stuff for some hacker to find, but lay it out there for everyone to see. Clearly, they have been watching a lot of Dr. Phil because they have decided to own this. I am no prude at all, but I really don’t see the need for this. Male nudity can be funny (Forgetting Sarah Marshall), it can be artistic (Statue of David) and it can be stupid (anyone who takes a pic of their junk on a cell phone).
Lost and the Damned falls right in the stupid and not needed. It’s not funny, its kinda weird to see it and highly unsettling. GTA hasn’t even shown uncovered boobs yet and they jump right to the Full Monty? Rockstar is clearly happy Jack Thompson is not around, but these kinds of things only serve to create the NEXT Jack Thompson.
Great, I’ll bet you’re friends with Roger Ebert because neither of you bums recognize ART when you see it! Listen, expression in video games isn’t just limited to the subtle textures found on rotting zombie flesh or the normal mapping of space marine armor, it can also be found in polygonal old man pork and beans.
If you can’t recognize art and creativity when it slaps you with a faceful of flacid wang, then buddy, I can’t help you. Rockstar are true visionaries, boldly taking us forward into the land of hoes and naked bros, and I for one am along for the full ride. See you in academia, halfwits!
Resident Evil 5 will be here any day now, but there are some gamers out there bashing the game’s controls and its apparent lack of play time (some rumors have it clocking in at under 9 hours). Fair/foul?
Personally, I think it’s all fair to speculate at the moment. I mean, obviously, it’s too early to be freaking out about things like the game’s play time. However, if it really is that length, then Japanese developers continually show that they’re the weakest link in the gaming industry right now. I mean, for real, why does it take 4 or 5 years to come out with sequels when western devs can crank them out every 2-3 years?
Likewise, in regards to the controls, I understand that Capcom wants people to feel frustrated and scared and helpless… But is frustrated the way you really want your gamers to feel? There were rumors going around that MGS 2 was designed to intentionally make gamers feel frustrated and lonely when playing as Raiden, because it tied in with the game’s themes that no amount of VR simulation (in the player’s case, playing as Snake) can train you for the real thing. It was only when Raiden picked up his sword and became who he was supposed to be that he (and the gamer) enjoyed what was happening.
What a crock. It’s a next-gen game. Next gen controls, please?
What are you saying, Japanese people are slow or something? Western devs can crap out yearly sequels, sure, but at a diminishing quality with each one. Prince of Persia, Tony Hawk, Madden…oh and let’s not forget that Halo 3’s final level is basically an HD version of the final level in the first Halo! Way to be original there!
As for Resident Evil, the game is survival horror. Everyone is acting like it’s a big action game, but it’s not. You are given controls that aren’t really fluid in order to raise the tension. And I was mighty tense when that chainsaw guy came out and I forgot how to run! Sure, being able to run AND shoot would be more realistic, but hello! Zombies, Albert Wesker and the master of unlocking…this is Resident Evil and you take the good with the bad.
On a different note, Capcom chose the hardest freaking levels to put in a demo I have ever seen. Nothing like learning on the fly while a zombie chews on your coccyx.
Many video game publications run reviews of games that they’ve only partially played, or in some cases, barely played at all. Isn’t this bad for gamers?
I think this issue needs to be looked at carefully. A game like Fallout 3, which can completed, but not to 100% completion, can be reviewed without doing everything you need. Same with many RPGs. But with shorter games, I think they should be beaten, if possible. Maybe the person reviewing the game is not good at that one and can’t beat it. He or she can still render a judgment as to the quality of the game.
Honestly, I really don’t think you need to beat a game to be able to judge its worth, but since they are reviewing games so we the consumer don’t waste our precious rupees on a piece of crap, I think they should at least be able to tell us if there are sudden shifts in the game halfway through, how long the game is and whether it is repetitive or not. You can say that Prince of Persia is a huge game, but since all you will be doing is collecting light seeds…that’s the kind of information I would like to have before making a purchase.
Pfffft. Whatever, Anthony. Sure, you can talk about your new-age mumbo jumbo like “rendering judgments” or “careful consideration”, but since when do we as gamers care about that? When I read a review, I want it to be a part of the unstoppable locomotive known as the HYPE TRAIN, baby! Not even Superman can slow down the kind of momentum an overhyped game gets after receiving a 9.5 or higher on the tard-o-scale of most gaming sites.
I don’t care if someone’s even played a few minutes of the game, I want to see reviews that match up to what we all know the game is supposed to get anyway. Killzone 2 has laggy controls? Who cares? Not me! 10/10! Metal Gear Solid 4 isn’t a game by the end of it? As if! 10/10! Halo 3’s Cortana level is god awful and the campaign isn’t nearly as epic as promised? Fuhgetaboutit! 10/10!
To me, this is the way all games should be graded, right up front. I mean, I don’t have time to read 3 pages of text, so why should a reviewer play a 15 hour game? Quit being a slave driver, people.
Now that you’ve seen the GameCop vs LameCop stance, what are your thoughts on these issues?