GameCop Vs LameCop #4

GameCop vs. LameCop is a feature where Anthony and I argue about video game issues, playing the role of either the GameCop or the LameCop as we do so. We switch roles each time. The GameCop has your best interests as gamers at heart, while the LameCop is just what he sounds like: a total loser.

This week, we tackle several issues including Nintendo’s Wii Motion Plus, Ubisoft’s shady DLC and Sony’s penchant for starting the hype train too early.



Issue 1

Nintendo is updating their popular console with more precise waggling controls with WiiMotion Plus. What’s so special about it? It adds a 1-to-1 translation of movement from the play to the screen. Wasn’t the Wii already supposed to do this? Fair/foul?


GameCop: Eddy

This is a total foul move by Nintendo. I remember the first reports coming out about the Wii all those years ago talked about how sophisticated the controls were, that it could sense banking, turning, 1-to-1 translations of movement along 3d axes, etc. and apparently, this was all a cock and bull story concocted by the big N. This makes me feel even stupider for even pretending for one nanosecond that using that damn Wii-Mote was like actually using a tennis racket.

And really, how many of these things do you think Nintendo is going to push? They’ve already tricked people into buying 45 million of their consoles and copies of Wii Fit, what gimmick are they going to drop on the populace to get people to start springing for “BEST WAGGLEZ EVAR”?

Anthony will probably defend this to the death, because we all know of his love for the fake hoola hoops, but still. Give me a break.

LameCop: Anthony

Eddy, you should feel stupid and ashamed for such vulgar language like “cock and bull”. The WiiMotion is Nintendo finally saying, “Yes, we made a mistake and we would like to rectify it by having you put more money directly into our pockets”. Sure, Nintendo could go ahead and just send it the mail to us and finally deliver on their earlier promises, but why should they? They already admitted most of their gamers are functionally retarded with the whole wrist strap incident. I mean, I know not to let go of something I am swinging around, but how were all these new gamers supposed to know?

And besides, most people playing the Wii are not going to go out and buy this because they don’t care and won’t notice the difference. Until Nintendo starts making it where games
are unplayable without the Wii Motion…uh oh.



Issue 2

Ubisoft is releasing a DLC epilogue pack that officially ends the Prince of Persia story. Shouldn’t this have been, you know, part of the game?


GameCop: Anthony

This is a poke in the eye and a kick in the pants all at the same time.. Ubisoft is basically telling us that shipped the game unfinished. I don’t know about you, but I get enough of that from EA. Ubisoft better recognize that gamers have long memories and next time they release such a game, I can promise you that its sales will be poorer than the Prince’s were.

If they wanted to to DLC, thats awesome. Do Time Trials like Mirror’s Edge or new costumes or Challenge Rooms like Bioshock. Don’t charge us $20 bucks to see the ending to a game that we already paid for. Even George Lucas would not end Star Wars with a disclaimer telling us to go to some website or something to see the final battle between Anakin and Obi-Wan!

Eddy will probably love this idea because he loves paying fees online, like his XBox Live membership and his MILF-ilicious membership.

LameCop: Eddy

Are you kidding? Are you really that heartless, Anthony? See, where I come from, we believe in giving people second chances. Forgiveness, etc. This doesn’t just go for people, but also for game developers. Ubisoft is just trying to make up for what it did wrong, all at the cost of our dollars!

I mean, come on. Who doesn’t have twenty dollars to spend on DLC? For real, I throw that to homeless people on the street and use it for napkins when I go out to eat. Ubisoft is giving us more game, man. I don’t know about you, but I like having more game, and of course it’s going to cost some money. Really, I wouldn’t mind if developers just started cutting whole chunks out of games and then released them later as “the lost chapters”. That would be the best thing ever. In time.



Issue 3

Several high profile PS3 games still yet to be released were first shown off around 2005/2006. With Final Fantasy XIII pushed to 2010 (and possibly God of War 3, if rumors are true), should Sony calm down with the hype train and wait until these games are further in development?


GameCop: Eddy

Oh, goody, another chance for me to rip on Sony and its numerous blunders this generation. The crazy thing about seeing Killzone 2, Gran Turismo 5, and Final Fantasy XIII about 3 or 4 years ago is that none of those games have even been released yet! You want to know what MS and Nintendo were showing when Sony was telling us about GT 5? Kameo. Twilight Princess. Viva Pinata. Seriously. Hell, we got a Halo 3 trailer in 2006 and the game in 2007. We didn’t know when Gears of War 2 was coming until around March of 2008!

Why oh why, Sony, do you start this painful train so early? You’re creating several versions of Home for yourself over and over again. When you start telling people about something 4 years in advance, they lose interest. And once those games show up, you don’t even know what to do with them. I swear, up to this point, finding a PS3 exclusive is like looking for WMD’s in Iraq. I’m sure Anthony will find the fanboy power within to defend this kind of shameless hyping. I will prepare myself for the deluge.


LameCop: Anthony

Eddy, don’t you watch Fox News? We found the WMDs!

Look, let’s not glance past the fact that internet is run on hype and Sony is just giving people what they want: a reason to live past this holiday season. Or next holiday season. Or whenever the hell they get around to finishing these games.

Sony shows these trailers because they know the games will come out eventually and if it is delayed, so what? Have you ever known anyone to NOT buy a game because of a delay? Or would you rather Square Enix crap out an unfinished product like Ubisoft and then charge us for the final boss fight? Sure the world was an entirely different place back when these games were announced, but one thing hasn’t changed and that is my desire to play them. Sony’s hype machine is just ahead of the curve and any projected timeline of actual completion, but they want their consumers to know that the good stuff is coming. Anticipation makes the heart grow fonder and the wallet more likely to shell out $60 bucks.



Now that you’ve seen the GameCop vs LameCop stance, what are your thoughts on these issues?

Written by

I write about samurai girls and space marines. Writer for Smooth Few Films. Rooster Teeth Freelancer. Author of Red vs. Blue, The Ultimate Fan Guide, out NOW!

12 thoughts on “GameCop Vs LameCop #4”

  1. Say Anthony, seeing as you have so much cash, can I borrow $20?

    This whole Wii Motion Plus really has me frazzled. On one hand, it’ll finally allow me to get what I wanted in the first place from my wii. On the other, it costs money. *sigh*

    Of course, if Anthony here could spare the cash, I wouldn’t have to worry about it…

  2. 1 and 2 are GameCop but 3, I dont agree. What’s wrong with hype? Even if it’s a couple of years early. Halo got plenty of hype in the year leading up to its release and plenty of people lapped it up (despite the poor quality-hype ratio). Also Square’s fault for FF13.

  3. Issue 1:
    It doesn’t seem right that Nintendo should do something like this- Something it was telling everyone it would do already. Bringing out something that would unlock it’s true potential isn’t unprecedented- Just don’t lie about it first, Nintendo. Man.

    Issue 2:
    I don’t have much money (No job) so doing something like this is not just unfair to students like me, but also mean. I get £30 a month, and I don’t want to spend an extra £10 on the ENDING. Maybe it’s just me.

    Issue 3:
    I don’t really know. Waiting for a game is hard enough, without letting you know four years beforehand. That’s a long time. A long time for you to slowly forget about it. Yes, when you get it you’ll appreciate it that much more, but I can’t decide whether Sony’s just selling its games or trying to piss me off.

  4. Issue 1: Yeah, well. If it improves the playability of the Wii, they should go for it. If, however, it’s not backwards compatible (likely), and if all of the games they release in the future require it (likely), they’re pretty much charging you for continued use of the console. Why am I not surprised?

    Issue 2: Whatever floats your boat, really. Many games ship with ‘incomplete’ storylines, but that’s just part of the ending. The question here really is, would it have been better to have waited for a sequel, or does this DLC have enough content to be worth $20?

    Issue 3: Sony and they’re hype train. FFXIII, Killzone 2, and GT5 were all entirely off my radar. My view is, don’t buy into the hype until a release date is set. And if you do, don’t complain so much about the game not coming out when you want it to. Plus, what if they hype it up for a few years and it sucks? Trailers are nice, but gameplay videos are what count for hype. Then again, plenty of other companies announce games far before they’re done. (HL2 ep3…) I guess it’s just a fine line.

  5. The wii motion plus is jus another thing to put in and out your wii mote. I get tired, taking the jacket off to put the wii mote in the wii wheel, or putting the numchuck in and out.

  6. Issue 1 – Meh, it just seems like another accessory from Ninty to me. I’m not too excited about it but if it’s a reasonable price (<£50 with the new sports game) I will get it. My take on them releasing it ~2 years after launch is that it’s an update for a reason, technology is growing all the time and this was a recent development for the big N. As you may know, I am all for moving forward and not just standing still.

    Issue 2 – I rented this game for the PC and got bored with the un-challenging play after saving like 7 lands. Sucks that they make us pay to see the ending and sucks even more that PC/PS3 users are left out.

    Issue 3 – I agree with this 100%, this is the only fault I ever find in Valve aswell. Valve always advertise their games so early on that we are waiting for years (although they pretty much always live up to the hype).

  7. Issue #2

    I hope Anthony saying “Ubisfot” was supposed to be the funny part.

    “better recognize that gamers have long memories”

    You just called some gamers retards in your last entry lamecop…step it up! 😀

  8. Issue 1: I don’t really care. As long as my WiiMote (which I never touch practically) is more accurate or whatever, I’m happy. Well, as long as I’m playing Fallout 3 I’m happy…

    Issue 2: Meh, UbiSoft is evil. The fact that they found a way to cock-up Prince of Persia by making the protagonist some wity, comic-relief type character and NOT THE PRINCE OF PERSIA is just pathetic.

    Issue 3: I stopped riding the Hype Train. The more hype, the worse the game will be. I look for those underrated games that turn out to be amazing, like Golden Sun for example. Obviously, I love some of those mainstream games like CoD4 and Fallout 3 which were sort of hyped, but not really. They were the more modest, sort of cult classic games that got pushed out of the spotlight by Halo 3 or Spore or what have you.

    Can’t wait for the next GC vs LC!

  9. Anthony just fixed his PC at home! No more spyware!

    So yeah, Lamecop was extra prickish this time.

    And saying gamers have long memories and calling them retards is why he is a Lamecop!

  10. Yeah, Lamecop is pretty much us picking the most ridiculous points we can that is NOT in favor of gamers. They’re characters, doodz.

  11. Issue 1: Another peripheral for the Wii. I don’t think anyone really cares the the Wiimote isn’t 1:1 anyways, so this just seems like another useless piece of plastic and electronics. (Just like the Wii, lolololol)

    Issue 2: Foul! I haven’t beaten Prince of Persia yet (due to my extreme gamer ADD, and Fallout 3), but this seems kind of strange. A lot of companies seem to be taking the “Oh, we wanted to put out a finished product, but time constraints forced us to abandon A PART OF THE GAME and focus on the parts we could complete.” Really? Total B-S. Either just come out and admit that this is a grab for moar dollarz, or get some better pre-production in place so you’re not squeezing out 85% done products in time for the holidays.

    Issue 3: Ah, the infamous hype-train. All fun and games when you board it, but about six months into the trip, you wish it would reach its destination. It’s a real shame that Sony teases all its high profile releases so far ahead of their actual appearance. I don’t own a PS3, but I feel bad for you Sony owners that have to wait so long between quality titles.

  12. Issue 1: Does this idea register on the suck-o-meter? Indeed. But is it really all that surprising? It’s a shame that companies believe they can do things like this to their fanbase and not even begin to worry about the backlash of a drop in loyalty for their brand. But..they can and will continue to do so.

    Issue 2: I would consider this the same problem as Issue #1. In my opinion its nothing more than a pre-meditated effort to make some extra cash off of a game that people more or less enjoyed and will now, in the fashion of what I call “Pokemon-itis”, go and drop 20 bucks just to say they beat the entire game. Honestly if one of those people flaunted that in my presence Id have a hard time not laughing.

    Issue 3: I think Ive become a bit too removed from console gaming to be shocked or bewildered by such early previews of games. Its almost the norm for PC gaming on a whole. I see incidents as this as more of a sneak peek for the people who care, just so they know they havent been forgotten. But, for the impatient I can see as it being kind of a cocktease.

    Nice discussion this time around Game/Lame. Looking forward to the next one.

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