GameCop Vs LameCop #3

GameCop vs. LameCop is a feature where Anthony and I argue about video game issues, playing the role of either the GameCop or the LameCop as we do so. We switch roles each time. The GameCop has your best interests as gamers at heart, while the LameCop is just what he sounds like: a total loser.

This week, we tackle several issues including Nintendo’s racial epithets in Animal Crossing, gaming companies’ decision to release all of the video games at the same time each year, and releasing buggy games.



Issue 1

Recently, Nintendo sent out press copies of the Nintendo DS game, Animal Crossing Wild World to various journalists. Unfortunately, these press copies were derived from a tester’s save file, where this tester had the sense to rename a character as “N—a” (yes, the racial epithet that starts with an N). Oops?

GameCop: Anthony

Oops? Oops is what you say when you spill a drink on your fiancee’s $300 purse, not what you say when you have testers sending games out to the press after conditioning some poor animal to be a racist. I saw American History X and this kind of thing only leads to a Nazi Uprising and curb stompings galore.

Now, I understand why this happened and Nintendo did well to apologize for it, but for such a family friendly company, even having this “viral catchphrase” feature is just asking for trouble. This is a blemish on Nintendo, but I applaud them for their quick and sincere response. In other news, sales of Animal Crossing jumped by 456% in the South.


LameCop: Eddy

Dude, Anthony, chill. I mean, this is maybe Nintendo’s only blemish in the history of their company ever, so lighten up. These dudes have made the same 4 games over and over again for the last 10 years and made millions, so they know what they’re doing. Besides, you know darn well that we all like to change the names of our characters to questionable things when and if we are given that chance.

Who doesn’t remember crying when Sephiroth killed Butt Monger, or cheering in victory when AssMaster, the Hero of Time, defeated the evil Ganon with the Master Sword. Hell, I even made Darth Jesus in KOTOR II, does that make me a bad person? And we all remember what the real Jesus said… something about stones. And throwing them at dudes. I can’t remember exactly but maybe you should just stfu about it.



Issue 2

Every year, game companies load up the months of October through December with a ludicrous amount of holiday releases, after a relatively quiet 12 months of gaming. Fair or foul?

GameCop: Eddy

Personally, I think that gaming companies should really try to spread these releases out a little bit. I understand that for their fiscal years to look better, they tend to load up games around certain points, but now you’ve got companies like EA showing some heavy losses despite releasing Madden, NCAA, Dead Space, Rock Band and Mirrors Edge all on the backend. I think part of what causes is that is that gamers simply can’t buy all of these games at once, and they will more often choose the 10/10 games over the 9/10 games when they’ve got to.

I imagine Anthony will defend this and say something lame about survival of the fittest, but really, I think this just hurts the gaming industry, and it really makes it harder for gamers. We are not all soulless beasts like you, sir.

LameCop: Anthony

Survival of the Pwnest, you Darwin hating choir boy. And quit whining about great games coming out. In my day, games sucked year round! The only good games came out when a new system launched. So you have a ton of great games coming out, boo hoo. First up, get a job! And if you have a job, get a better one. And if your wife or girlfriend doesn’t chip in so you can get LittleBigPlanet and Gears of War 2 in the same week, drop her like a needle gun. She is only holding you back.

Christmas and Hannukah and Kwanza and Ramadan are all great gift giving holidays and game companies rely on this time to get in the black. Thats why they call it Black Friday. Sure, they can release these games in January, May and July, but who wants to wait that long? I need them and I need them now! The weak game companies should be punished. Oh no, EA is losing money? I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more. They brought it on themselves and now its time to reap the whirlwind. They got pwned!



Issue 3

Some of the holiday’s heavy hitters (GTA IV PC, Fallout 3, Fable II) are full of bugs. A concerning sign of the carelessness of game devs or not a big deal, since you can just patch it?

GameCop: Anthony

This issue really bothers me since I only got online with games this year. If you ship a product and its not finished and its buggy and unplayable, gamers will remember. I don’t care if the patch is ready on Day 1, it should never have come to that. Finish the job. Not all gamers will remember, as the Madden crowd will buy that game if you put manure in the box instead of a disc.

But honestly, this is wrong and any company that releases a game that is broken and needs a patch just to function, guess what? You just ensured that I will buy all of your games from GameStop in the future…USED. Maybe that will learn you a thing or two.
I am sure Eddy will come on and act like we should be thankful for any crap Valve or EA decides to poop on us, but lets face it: he still sleeps with a Master Chief action figure. Can you trust someone like that?

LameCop: Eddy

I love patches! How can you not love patches? It really makes me feel like I got my $70 bucks worth when the company is continually having to fix what came out messed up. I mean, if it wasn’t for these great intertubes, we would just get screwed up games all the time, and then what? Patches make the world a better place. Think if there had been a patch to get rid of Oddjob in Goldeneye. Or Raiden in Metal Gear Solid 2. Nobody would be complaining.

These days, everybody’s freaking out about the internet and video games. But really, patches are like free downloadable content. Who cares about paying $10 for new maps when I can get my brand new game all fixed up for free. Woo! I love being a gamer!



Now that you’ve seen the GameCop vs LameCop stance, what are your thoughts on these issues?

Written by

I write about samurai girls and space marines. Writer for Smooth Few Films. Rooster Teeth Freelancer. Author of Red vs. Blue, The Ultimate Fan Guide, out NOW!

23 thoughts on “GameCop Vs LameCop #3”

  1. I agreed with the lame cop on the first Issue. But one thing about releasing games that are buggy. Not everyone has live. So when they get a game they CANT patch it. Then your screwed. It really can suck for the people. If the NES or Sega Genesis did that the games would have never sold. And thanks for another GameCop vs LameCop. Love em.

  2. Ya, almost every thing has to be patch up before you release the game. If not, it’s amateur/noobish work. It’s like selling a cake with no sugar.

  3. Look, maybe instead of having lame cop deliver a lame, straw-man argument, he should deliver a legitimate argument.
    i.e: 1st issue: While not the brightest thing Nintendo’s ever done, it IS getting people talking about Animal Crossing who would never talk about it.

  4. I am Awesome Cop. Because I am awesome. And I am me.

    Frankly, just fix the whole N**** thing. Fire the programmer if you must, but at least it’s a new internet joke. Oh I love internet jokes.

    Once again, I don’t mind it. I’m sure that once I move out of my parent’s house, I’ll be going clinically insane and have little mini-versions of game characters on my shoulder debating if I should buy either Half-Life 14.5 or Call of Duty Million: Internet Spam Warfare 2. At least for now, my parents are nice enough – AKA the greatest people EVARRR – to reward my good grades and awesomocity with any games I want. In return I have self-control and choose only one or two games that I REALLY want and am REALLY hyped about and REALLY know I will like and will keep playing until next year.

    Buggy games piss me off. Whether it’s messed-up interface, broken levels, Mount Everest lagspikes, or the glitches in CoD:W@W, the gaming experience (the immersion, fun, and both) is shattered asunder and the shards drive into your skin. In particular I want to rant about the aforementioned glitches in CoD:W@W and the other glitches that plague the game.
    Overall, CoD:W@W is just a very glitchy game. Almost every multiplayer map has a way to get under the map and shoot guys from below while not taking any damage yourself. They fixed it on Roundhouse back during the Beta – but man was it frustrating when the glitch was rampant. Any schmuck who didn’t feel like trying could do that glitch and you literally could not win a game of War. Seriously, we had to friggin wait seven whole minutes until the Sudden Death mode activated and it was a rush to the central dome. We raped them easily because they didn’t have their precious glitch, but that’s still complete BULLSHIT! And when I think I’ll never see that accursed glitch ever again and I’m happily playing Roundhouse, when the game ships, Castle, Downfall, I think Courtyard – I hate Courtyard either way – and I know another map has this “Under the Map” Glitch. IT’S COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLFUCKINGSHIT!! I can’t believe Treyarch didn’t test their game more! I don’t care if you have only two years to make it; I want a good game, not a bad clone of CoD4 too soon!
    I literally went back to CoD4 because CoD:W@W was getting ridiculous with everything from the glitches to the lack of a truly solid weapon like the M4 Carbine other than the Sturmgewehr; and then there is the PPSh-41, rifle grenades, and most of all SECOND CHANCE. God! What were they thinking, those idiots! All Treyarch did was make a glitchy WWII mod of CoD4 with new maps and a new storyline. And Nazi Zombies, which admittedly is very fun albeit very Left 4 Dead-esque. On top of that, Treyarch either made anything that was underpowered even worse and anything and everything that was overpowered even more noobish. Maybe they were sticking to what CoD4 did because they thought it was a smart idea because Infinity Ward did SOMETHING right. But no. Not this. Don’t make the P90 extra extra noobish. Don’t turn Last Stand into the cheapest thing since your mom. Don’t bring back Martyrdom. Don’t add Rifle Grenades. Don’t give SMG’s increased ammunition capacity just so spray-and-prayers require even less skill.
    You know, there were some things Treyarch did well. The vehicles fit in fairly well actually, albeit all you could drive are tanks. Toss Back is a very useful perk. Flak Jacket saved my life so many times, and thankfully it’s an underrated perk. Roundhouse, Upheaval, and Castle are pretty dang good maps. But it just isn’t enough to combat the major issues.

    Dang. I ranted.

  5. Yeah! Nonsensical logic FTW!!!

    These are great. Looking forward to 4th installment, or more likely the next “would you rather”

    btw: that mario pic….. lulz.

  6. there is much i could say, but i am already tired from reading cossack’s post ( <3 )… so…

    patches? PC users were at the advantage of this debate for years ( Simply because if worse came to worst we could actualy GET the patches. things have changed).. But lets not forget.. Some games the patches are not to fix Bugs but to make the game better ( I.e. COUNTER-STRIKE XD!! )

    A game in 2 years thats buggy, or waiting 5 years for a perfect game? Whats the verdict?

    Half – Life 2 – Totaly worth the wait

    Spore – sucked $*@&$

    S.T.A.L.K.E.R – Amazing.. but still buggy…

    in conclusion.. there is none. I dont think bugs should hinder you from enjoying a game, unless they are terribly severe, which most large companies dont let fall through their “almost-glitch-free” strainer.

    Of course, it takes a PC gamer to expect certain crashes/errors/ etc.. But thats not always the games fault, its often the OS’s… and because we are elite we find ways to fix them ourselves…

    yes… ourselves… mmmuhaha

  7. [quote comment=”2861″]Look, maybe instead of having lame cop deliver a lame, straw-man argument, he should deliver a legitimate argument.[/quote]

    But then we’d have to start calling him Legitimate Cop, and I don’t know about you but Game Cop vs. Legitimate Cop just isn’t as catchy. =)

  8. [quote comment=”2872″]Plus, we usually try to pick topics that really only have one sensible viewpoint.

    Lamecop represents the worst you will find on the Internet.[/quote]
    Theres a limit on how bad the internet gets? :O

  9. Lamecop represents the worst you will find on the Internet.[/quote]

    Yet he made rather valid points in them all (although the bad outweighed the good.)

  10. I’d have to agree with Kalgros. I don’t have xbox live, so if a game comes out and it’s broken in some way, I can’t get it fixed. I think it shows a lot of laziness on the game dev side. Just finish the freaking game! Why is that so hard? Beta test it if u have to. Just find the problems and fix ’em.

    I really don’t care what Nintendo does since I have a 360 and not a Wii.

    and as long as they come out with good games, I don’t really care when they come out. Although, a little bit of spread would be nice. Having all the good games released during only 2 or 3 months of the years is like taking all the jelly on your sandwich and putting it all in the middle.

  11. I’d like to point out that until patches were available to console users, games, while still containing glitches, had a lower GPG (Glitches Per Game) and i do think that DLC and patches feel like a hasty way to get a game out in time for shopping rushes. Mercs 2 being an example.

  12. Hahah “Darwin hating choir boy” LOLOL

    Racism will always be there. Developers like to have fun too. Like Eddy said, we all make racist/suggestive/iffy names on games. ITS FUNNY! And its your game so it wont hurt.

    Spread those games OUT! Common Gears 2 still isn’t open! And I had trouble with finals enough!

    Nothing will be perfect, if the patches do a good job, then all the better. Shoot the Fallout 3 patch did a great job with my game crashing. hasnt in a LONG time

  13. Issue 1:
    Oh, Nintendo. Sigh. You kind of passed the buck on this issue. Instead of blaming the tester, you could have done a bit more work to ensure that racial epithets and swear words couldn’t be spelled, even creatively. There’s a legion of LIVE users you could have hired for that.

    Issue 2.
    For god’s sake, publishers, spread the love around. I hate hitting the Spring gaming drought. Having at least one triple A title launch in March would kind of ease the interminable wait to the big fall push. At least Dawn of War 2 is launching in February, when my wallet gets out of recovery.

    Issue 3.
    This is kind of an interesting one. The longer a team spends on development, the more they risk having the gaming public lose interest in their product. What if Fallout had been delayed to ’09? Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but people probably would have forgotten about it a little.

    Patches shouldn’t be relied on to fix a game post launch, but having to balance a polished product against sales is going to be a tough one, especially as online connectivity becomes more prevalent.

  14. Ahem!Anthony,it seems you have made a mistake here…
    Ramadan is the fasting month while Aidilfitri is THE celebration month…

  15. [quote comment=”2923″]Ahem!Anthony,it seems you have made a mistake here…
    Ramadan is the fasting month while Aidilfitri is THE celebration month…

    What better way to distract yourself and your loved ones from your fast than with a nice round of Horde mode on Gears of War 2?

  16. I agreed with the lame cop on the first Issue. But one thing about releasing games that are buggy. Not everyone has live. So when they get a game they CANT patch it. Then your screwed. It really can suck for the people. If the NES or Sega Genesis did that the games would have never sold. And thanks for another GameCop vs LameCop. Love em.

    i agree the patch thing is what people like us who don’t have live worry about. what if i just wasted my money and CANT get the problem fixed.

  17. Blizzard, Valve, and Stardock have always made quality their #1 priority. Their philosophy is “It’ll be done when it’s done.” They don’t rush their games out the door, even when they all have laughably easy patching methods. I think their philosophy of never compromising quality for a delivery date is a good trait, and other devs should look up to them.

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