License to Suck

In our latest feature, I will examine Licensed games, how much they suck and how developers can improve them using current game engines.

I think we can all agree that Iron Man was one of the better movies from this past summer. And I think we can also agree that the Iron Man game was one of the worst games from this past summer. So what gives? And why do they still sell so well even though we know they are likely going to suck?

The answer lies in you. I remember when I was watching Iron Man fly around and kick ass, I wanted to do that. I even said to myself, “I wonder if the game is out yet”. Well, I went home, downloaded the demo from the PSN store and played about 4 minutes before I wanted to puke. It was putrid. But I still wanted to play a game where I could do things like Iron Man. That is why these games are so popular.

As for why they suck, well, that’s no mystery either. Low budget, time crunched schedule or just crappy developers make some of these games. But there is hope. Some recent licensed games have been pretty good. Marvel Ultimate Alliance, X-Men Legends and more have shown that using existing game engines, you can turn out a decent product. Hell, The Punisher game from a few years back was basically Max Payne and it was a lot of fun.

So what Licensed Characters have gotten the shaft (can you dig it) and how can they be improved? Here are my ideas. Be sure to give me your suggestions and maybe someone will take note and do these heroes justice!

Wolverine- Kind of sad that he has never had a solo outing worth mentioning. So what engine out there can save his Adamantium laced ass? How about God of War? Imagine the combos and the bloodshed and the berserker fury! Anything would be better this lame guy:

Iron Man- this one is kind of tough. I really beat my head on the wall trying to think of one.Then it hit me: Warhawk for the PS3. In that game, you control a guy who can jump into a tank or a jet and take off without any hesitation. Iron Man can do all those things, hell he IS a tank!

Superman- Remember the Nintendo 64 version? Yeah, sorry for bringing it up. Superman kind of has the same powers as Iron Man, at least in terms of what you can do in a game. So why not Warhawk for him, too?

300- epic battles with cool fighting? Why not use the Devil May Cry fighting engine with the Dynasty Warriors penchant for massive battles?

Lord of the Rings- forget RTS or that lame ass Third Age RPG. Make a straight up RPG using the KOTOR engine. Follow the story, split the fellowship and add side quests using the vast source material. Can’t lose!

So thats my vain attempt to spark some magic into this lifeless void. What do you guys think? How would you improve these and other characters?

Written by

Age: 34 PSN ID: Starkiller81. I've played games since before I can remember, starting with my dad's Atari and I haven't stopped yet. Keep them coming and I will keep playing them.

15 thoughts on “License to Suck”

  1. I’d just like to say I agree totally with the whole Film tie ins are utter bull. But I happen to have an uncle who works for Eurocom who, unfortunately, seem to specialise in movie tie ins. Buffy and Pirates ot Carb at world’s End. I feel so sorry for him. He would prolly love to work for Valve. He <3’s Half Life 😀

  2. Kinda off, but wasn’t there supposed to be a movie about Wolverine coming out?

    I just think its hard sometimes to make games really good off of movies. its like the book is always better than the movie.

    This is why Im so glad the Halo movie was canceled. It would have blown.

  3. [quote comment=”1423″]Kinda off, but wasn’t there supposed to be a movie about Wolverine coming out?

    I just think its hard sometimes to make games really good off of movies. its like the book is always better than the movie.

    This is why Im so glad the Halo movie was canceled. It would have blown.[/quote]

    Yeah there is a Wolverine movie coming out this summer.

    And the book is not always better. The Godfather is a better movie than book. But thats the exception, so you are mainly right.

    But you make a point about the Halo movie I don’t understand. If the Halo movie came out and sucked…so what? I never understand when people are glad something doesn’t get made b/c they might not like it. If you don’t like it, fine, but someone might. Like people rooting against the next Indy movie. I want to see it, no matter what. If it sucks, then it sucks, my life goes on.

    Just something I don’t understand, not trying to rant about it.

  4. Movie games will never be as good as game games. They’re just prone to fail. Think of it as a Persian flaw, and natural impossibility. Just because the two-hour movie was great, that doesn’t mean that the crappy four or five or however long hour game will be good. What happens all the time is the creators try to implement aspects of the movie into the game, and usually these aspects have no gameplay-effective or relavence.

  5. I coulden’t believe how ‘iron man the game’ was so glitchy! Come on! It’s the 21 century! These characters were made for the block busters, not the games. Sooo, I think these guys should stick to the movie world.

  6. [quote comment=”1425″]But you make a point about the Halo movie I don’t understand. If the Halo movie came out and sucked…so what? I never understand when people are glad something doesn’t get made b/c they might not like it. If you don’t like it, fine, but someone might. Like people rooting against the next Indy movie. I want to see it, no matter what. If it sucks, then it sucks, my life goes on.[/quote]

    What if the Godfather story was turned into a movie with hand puppets. It would have sucked.

    Why Im glad the halo movie died is simple. It would NOT have been like star wars where shit blends. If you saw the shorts and cuts from it, it looks like a bad sci fi show. Brutes looked retarded. Seeing the Halo shit on real people was neat, but think back to the Halo Wars vid in CG. Make a movie like that! It would have LOOKED good to. Now just because a movie doesn’t look good doesn’t mean it sucks, but I personally didn’t want to watch halo get slaughtered by bad graphics. When you are used to seeing something done with a computer, that’s how it should be.

  7. Hmm, consider this- most movie games are rushed by the movie producers and whoever sells the stuff(iono) to come out at the same time as the movie. So when I learned of this, I gave them some slack, although I still won’t buy them. XD

  8. Well, I didn’t see the shorts and cuts because I was not aware it ever made it past preproduction.

    Besides, I underestand what you mean. I am a huge Final Fantasy fan and I was pumped to see the movie…until I saw the trailer. THE TRAILER turned me off. Why? B/c it was simply a standard sci-fi movie with FF slapped on. So I feel you there.

    I understand why they make these movie games, but at least make them better!

  9. Have anybody played the Sinbad game? It is completely irrelevant to the movie gameplaywise but the story is quite correct. The bad thing is that all you do is run around in different places and kill the same mobs thousands of times which are then re-skinned for the next map leaving no variation.
    The story is told in summarized cartoon pictures where all the fun stuff seems to happen but is left out of the game and just told to you. All in all there are 5 levels. Shit Game like most movie games.

  10. This is pretty much irrelevant when it comes to the actual topic, but I’m seriously considering naming my future child Obadiah.

    Seriously, isn’t that name AWESOME?!!?!?

    I’ve only played the demo, and that’s all I wanted to play. I’ll stick to watching the special feature reel… Again.

  11. [quote comment=”1434″][quote comment=”1425″]But you make a point about the Halo movie I don’t understand. If the Halo movie came out and sucked…so what? I never understand when people are glad something doesn’t get made b/c they might not like it. If you don’t like it, fine, but someone might. Like people rooting against the next Indy movie. I want to see it, no matter what. If it sucks, then it sucks, my life goes on.[/quote]

    What if the Godfather story was turned into a movie with hand puppets. It would have sucked.

    Why Im glad the halo movie died is simple. It would NOT have been like star wars where shit blends. If you saw the shorts and cuts from it, it looks like a bad sci fi show. Brutes looked retarded. Seeing the Halo shit on real people was neat, but think back to the Halo Wars vid in CG. Make a movie like that! It would have LOOKED good to. Now just because a movie doesn’t look good doesn’t mean it sucks, but I personally didn’t want to watch halo get slaughtered by bad graphics. When you are used to seeing something done with a computer, that’s how it should be.[/quote]
    If the Gadfather was done with hand puppets it would be the best film EVAR. A cloth horse’s head? Yes please!

  12. See, I’ve always thought that if Bungie made a Halo “movie” with the in-game engine, that they could make a killing.

    Imagine a 45 minute movie on XBL for $10 bucks. You KNOW people would buy it.

    In terms of licensed stuff, I’ve always wanted a Batman game in a GTA style world. Or with Splinter Cell mechanics.

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