GameCop vs. LameCop is a feature where Anthony and I argue about video game issues, taking on the persona of either the GameCop or the LameCop as we do so. The GameCop has your best interests as gamers at heart, while the LameCop is just what he sounds like: a total loser.
This week, we tackle several issues including silent heroes, Playstation Home and Blizzard’s epic wtf weekend.
Even though games have grown into full audio/visual maturity, there are still many adventures that feature a silent hero for the player to control. Are silent heroes a legitimate design choice, or a relic of gaming that should be left behind?
While I understand that some might have an issue with heroes remaining silent in this day and age, I think it’s ok as far as game design goes. I mean, sure, it’d be nice to see a Zelda game with a talking Link, but really, a silent hero doesn’t get to voice opinions that aren’t yours. You get to inhabit a silent hero fully with whatever your thoughts are as a gamer. I mean, some recent games I can think of that were great even though the heroes didn’t make a peep were Dragon Quest VIII, Twilight Princess, Shadow of the Colossus, heck, even Master Chief is kind of a silent protagonist.
If games like Final Fantasy X (where the stupid hero never shuts his mouth) or Metal Gear Solid 4 for the ideal heroes, then count me out. I mean, do that many people need to be told what to think when it comes to who’s evil in the game and who isn’t?
I wish you had stayed silent on this subject because your logic is about as enjoyable as the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time!
Mario, Samus, Link, Crono, the heroes from Knights of the Old Republic…all silent and all kind of lifeless and bland. Adding voice acting to these characters would let everyone know that the next generation of gaming is finally here! Besides, think of all the actors who would line up to play these roles. Just look at some of my choices and tell me this would not RAWK:
Mario: James Gandolfini…that’s right, Tony bleeping Soprano. The two most influential Italians in all of the world together at last. That’s a spicy meatball!
Samus Aran: Paris Hilton… Imagine yourself down in a cave, magma all around you and fire spouts shooting at you. But instead of some macho one liner out of Angelina Jolie, you hear, “That’s hot” from Paris Hilton. And think of the fan fiction: One Night in Samus will be an instant hit!
Link: Hayden Christenson…why? Let’s face it, any dialogue from Nintendo will not set the world afire, so you need someone capable of saying it and who has more experience with crappy lines than Anakin Skywalker himself?
Start a petition now and get this done!
At some unspecified point in the future, Sony is going to release Home for the PSN, a virtual world/game lobby where users can interact with other online avatars, have their own virtual space and see previews and trailers of new games. Is this an exciting new UI, or just Second Life 2: Lame Town?
Well if you liked that last one Anthony, you’re going to love this. I think Home is a great addition to PlayStation 3, particularly with all of the publishers signing on to develop some unique content for it. I get why some people might not find it exciting, but hey, at least it’s not like a Mii MMO a la Microsoft or Nintendo.
And really, it’s got a lot more functionality than say, the 360 blades or the Nintendo squares in terms of unique UI’s. I can imagine some cool stuff where you get to walk into lobbies of certain developers so you can watch new trailers, play new demos, and just have a good time. And to be honest, if you’re not interested, you can just leave the thing alone.
Plus, it probably takes a little more intelligence than the average XBox Live user has to navigate the online terrain, which helps us avoid people like Anthony, who will probably create a man with a straw hat, a moustache, and beckon people to come into his online home to “make a movie”. It’s not that kind of game Anthony. Keep your pants on.
Let me prepare myself for your inane comments… now.
Hey, everyone that appears in my movies has to sign a release form. The judge said so and I don’t mess around with that!
Anyways, Home or as I like to call it Second Second Life. Or Second Life Dos. Yeah, so dressing up an avatar and walking around going into different places to view trailers and play demos and play crappy mini games of pool and darts sounds as lame as it will be. You know whats easier than doing all that? Selecting a demo from the PSN store and watching it without having to go pass a bunch of people dressed like douchebags dancing to “Still Alive”.
If I wanted to dress someone up and walk them around a virtual world, I would still be playing the Sims, creating my friend’s wives and then stealing them away with Antonio the Love Doctor. So tell Virtual Jen to watch out and in fact, Virtual Eddy is getting a little friendly for my taste lately, so it might be time to delete your ambigous ass!
Back to Home: anyone want to bet that every wall will be graffitied with product placement? It might end up looking like a Marc Ecko game and we know how those turn out. Home is lame, it’s Third Life for people like Dwight Schrute and I intend to stay Home-less.
Over the weekend, Blizzard announced that Starcraft II is so big, it’s going to have to be a trilogy. In addition, they’ve said that Battle.net won’t be free in the future. Fair or foul for gamers?
I know what Eddy is going to say: that he is thrilled to throw more money at Blizzard and can’t wait to sell his car in order to buy all this crap, but let’s face it: times are tough in this economy and this move by Blizzard (have they changed their name to EA, yet?) is passing the buck on to its consumers. They know that they have a legion of followers out there that will buy anything they crap out, so why not split Starcraft into 3 games?
Starcraft II: The Trilogy. There are so many things wrong with that. A sequel that is actually 3 games. Wow. That takes BALLS. The Zerg and Protoss and Terrans need to be in one game or it isn’t really Starcraft.
As for battle.net, people will pay for anything if they are addicted enough and taking a quick glance at World of Warcraft…yeah, you guys are screwed. My advice? Stay away from PC gaming for a few years.
Wow, so much whining out of someone who wouldn’t know Starcraft from his life-sized Sackboy doll that he shares a bed with. It’s creepy, Anthony. I promise.
Since when was it wrong for a corporation to make money, people? I hear all this griping and complaining about “oh man, they want to charge me every time I log on” or whatever it is that people are peeing in their pants over. Companies like cash. Get over it. Next thing you know, fatty gamer will be balking at the 13.99 his triple meatmcbeefburger with cheese is running him out at the local fast food joint.
Look, things cost money, ok? In these trying economic times, Blizzard/Activision’s got to look out for them and theirs. I mean, imagine all of the inflation that 10 million WoW addicts shoveling out money hand-over-fist is causing to the company’s bottom line. Poor guys. They probably can’t even afford the $100 bills they used to use to toke up every day before giggling themselves into a fit over all of their microtransactions. They’ve probably downgraded to Lincolns!
I salute your spirit Blizzard, for being bold enough to take a stand for capitalism, no matter what the cost, be it fans or subscribers or even millions in the long run. I can’t wait to play your one-game trilogy. I mean, imagine if Godfather had been split into 9 movies. I mean, nobody would be complaining then, right? This is probably kind of the same thing. Only instead of Italians, there are aliens. Rock on!
Now that you’ve seen the GameCop vs LameCop stance, what are your thoughts on these issues?