I am not a typical hardcore gamer nerd. I have long since accepted that while I am a huge nerd, the demands for a robust sex life call me away from my nerdly pleasures more often than not. I do not replay games on harder levels, instead preferring to move on to a new game entirely. I do not collect Achievements or Trophies, I find it as enjoyable as homework. And I do not see the big deal about a number of giant game franchises.
I didn’t play Halo until last year. Not having an Xbox, it was impossible to play it on my PS2, though I tried. When I finally booted it up, the first 2 or 3 levels were kind of bland. I didn’t see what the big deal was. But then, out of nowhere, I loved it. It was fun, the AI was great and I saw the big deal. And it was good.
So then I played Halo 2. What a disappointment. The story was a rehash of the first game. The gameplay was a rehash of the first game. It felt more like a remake than a sequel and I did not enjoy it nearly as much. So I will likely never play Halo 3 due to that and the fact that I don’t have nor do I want a 360.
But on to the meat of this post: Metal Gear Solid. I missed out on the first game because if it didn’t have “Final” and “Fantasy” in the title on the PS1, I probably didn’t play it. But as I read articles for Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of the Patriots online and in magazines, I saw something that I had never really seen before. More people were talking about the plot than the gameplay. I assumed that the story of this series must be incredible and once I played it, I found out I was right. It was incredible! Incredibly terrible!
It was at this point that I discovered that many video game fans must be functionally retarded. How else could such a stupid plot garner so much attention? After I finished the game, I thought back to my time with it and while it was ok, I never really had fun playing it. So I chalked it up to a fluke and went on with my life.
Jump to today. I got Metal Gear Solid 4 from Gamefly.com and I started playing it. I don’t know if it is just me or what, but I just don’t like this game. The controls are clumsy and cumbersome, the cut scenes are too long, but at times brilliant and other times they are just juvenile. Does Kojima expect anyone to take him seriously with shots of boobies and poop jokes? It’s no secret that all this guy wants to do is make a movie and while Hollywood messes up a lot by giving Uwe Boll money to make movies, I think we should write a letter and THANK Hollywood for not allowing Kojima to make a bloated piece of crap like we all know he would. You just know the movie would come in $400 million dollars over budget and have a 6 hour length and need an online database to explain it.
But the gist of all this is that I don’t like the game. It’s not fun to me. The combat is boring, the stealth is arbitrary at times. I never really liked stealth games, but still, for a game that is supposed to be one of the best stealth games ever, I thought it might even sway me a bit, but alas, to no avail. I don’t hate Metal Gear Solid, I just don’t like it and I don’t get it. Are there any game series out there that you guys just don’t “get”?